50 days |L.H|

Chapter 1.

One cut.

Two cuts.

Three cuts.

Four.

The blood just started dripping from the tub to the floor.

I placed the blade down as I stared at my fresh cuts, I'm not proud of this, I'm not proud of who I became. I bowed my head and went to go get the cloth. The water started running and I placed my wrist underneath it, I watched as the blood oozed out of my cuts, turning the water red. I wiped my wrist, then suddenly feeling a stinging sensation. I pulled my sleeve down and stared at myself in the mirror. "You're a monster." I choked. I felt tears building up but I quickly blinked them away.

"Jahli, c'mon love, you've got school!" my uncle announced at the bottom of the stairs. I deeply inhaled. School. Hell. Same thing.

"Coming, uncle." I responded.

I walked down the stairs for my ears to be greeted with the screams of my five months old nephew. I saw my older brother, Kodi, picking up his son, rocking him side to side, quieting him.

I don't know how he does it. A single eighteen year old dad. His girlfriend, Emma, died giving child birth. She was too good for her kind, Kodi and Emma were madly in-love, but life's a bitch. Emma never received her happy ending. Not that happy endings existed, but Emma believed in them.

"School?" Kodi questioned. I sealed my lips shut and nodded. He took a few steps closer to me and ruffled my hair. "Alright, see you after school, kiddo."

"I'm only two years younger than you, Kod!" I exclaimed. He chuckled and ushered me out of the house, he waved goodbye at the door and I waved back.

I walked down the hall of the school, people whispering as they look at me. I turn my head to a group of girls laughing at me. I see pity in the eyes of others. I shook my head, same words, same actions, just a different day.

As I walked into the class everybody quietened down, nobody talked. It's like they're waiting for me to fall, to fail. Just watching my every move. I hesitantly sat down, keeping my head down low.

I waited patiently for the teacher to arrive and once he did I got my head stuck in my work.

"Nobody wants you" a voice whispered.

I looked around to see everybody's heads down, reading the information on the piece of paper the teacher gave us. Mr. Connoley looked at me, confusion plastered on his face. He mouthed 'are you okay?' I nodded and looked down once again.

I felt something light being thrown at the back of my head, I turned around to see the row of boys behind of me. A boy with jet black hair, Damien, snickered. I picked up the piece of paper that was thrown at me, slowly opening it up.

'Worthless' I read.

I pursed my lips and placed the paper on my desk. Every single day they would remind me. Not once have they ever missed a day. I'd receive negative letters in the mail box, outside my doorstep. When will all of this stop?

I kept my eyes on the clock, counting down every minute. As the bell went I shoved my book inside my bag and sprinted out. I needed to get out. It was only the first period and all this crap is already corrupting my head.

I dodged the students who got in the way, and when I saw the door that was only approximately ten meters away I ran towards it. Only two more meters away. I felt myself face plant a wall. Great.

I looked up to see it wasn't just a normal wall. This wall has beautiful bright blue eyes, a perfectly styled quiff, and plump red lips. He was staring down at me, a scowl plastered on his face.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. I stepped back and turned the other way, I'll just use the back door. The halls were completely deserted, no students to be seen. I took this as my chance and walked out of the school.

Luke Hemmings...
Everybody knew him, he was trouble. You could say he was a bad boy. He was extremely attractive though. He'd get in a fight at least once a day, everybody's scared of him, excluding me. I'm not scared of anything. Just get intimidated at times..

I sat alone on a worn out wooden bench, staring at the lake that was in front of me. Young children were running around, having fun, with their mothers. I miss mine. I miss my mother.

"Are you okay, miss?" A small voice asked, I looked down to see a little girl, with bright big green eyes staring up at me, concerned. I have a her genuine smile and nodded.

"I'm fine." I convinced her. She tilted her head, not convinced, but left it. She sat beside me, still staring. I looked at her confused, also tilting my head.

"Where's your mum?" I asked her. She shrugged.

"I don't have a mum." She said simply, my eyes widened in shock.

"I don't have a mum either." I sighed.

"Cleo!" A man yelled.

"Coming, dad!" She yelled back. She jumped off the bench and waved at me. "Bye, miss! Be happy!"

I smiled back at her and gave her a small wave, she's very wise for a young girl.

I stood up from the bench at started making my way back home, this is gonna be a long walk. In a distant a blonde boy caught my eyes, Luke. A red and black flannel wrapped around his waist, a cigarette in-between his lips. We stared at each other as he exhaled the smoke.

He dropped the cigarette, stomped on it and walked off to his motorbike. He gave me one more look and rode off.

I don't know what that was about..

••••••••••••••••••
AUTHORS NOTE!
••••••••••••••••••
ALOHA FAMILY!

Hey guys, just late notice, this book will contain a whole lot of suicide attempts, self harm etc.
There will be times in chapters where it'll get emotional. I'm just preparing you guys.

Also, remember that if you need anyone to talk to, I'll always be here. You may hear that a million times from other people, but I'm not like everyone else. I'll always support you, not matter what you do. Even if you killed your own mum. Well, I'll probably give you a huge lecture! But always remember!

I love you guys, so much!
- Beatrix.