Please Don't Hit Zero ~ IwaOi

~1~

"Tooru! Happy birthday!" A warm, happy voice wakes me from my sleep, immediately making me excited. That's right: it's my twelfth birthday today!

I open my eyes, finding my mom in the doorway of my room. She looks at me lovingly, a sweet smile on her face.

"Yes! Thank you!" I return her smile with one of my own. It doesn't last long, though. Something catches my attention. "What's that?"

My mom frowns. "What's what?"

I point towards the timer on her chest. It's counting down towards something three months from now. "That thing?"

"Uh... My shirt?" she answers while looking down. "Or are you still half asleep? All of your gifts are downstairs."

So she can't see it? Although I find it weird, I decide it's best to stop talking about it. "Alright, I'll go wash myself."

My mom leaves, not closing the door behind her. I throw my blanket off of myself, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes while I'm at it. Then, I run to my first destination of today: the bathroom.

The first thing I do when I enter is look at myself in the mirror. However, I am not tall enough to look at my own chest. And when I look down, I can't see anything weird on my white shirt. So I was just imagining things?

I shrug, not wanting to let it bother me any longer. Today will be a good day. I can't wait to see what gifts I'll get...

Quickly, I wash and dress myself, hurrying downstairs as soon as I can.

"Happy birthday, Tooru!" My dad greets me when I open the door to the living room. He, too, shows me a bright and loving smile.

Normally, I would run towards them, laughing, happy, curious. But I am frozen, my feet stuck to the ground, my eyes glued to one thing only: the bright timer that is counting down on my dad's chest.

It looks the exact same as my mom's, just three days shorter. It makes me nervous, a bit scared even. I want to tell my parents about it, why they are counting down, why I can suddenly see something. But the clueless looks on their faces show that they know nothing.

So, I put on a fake smile. "Thanks!" I finally respond, putting a lot of effort in making it all seem genuine.

My parents don't notice. They simply start handing me my gifts, happily talking about each one of them.

I try to calm myself down, telling myself that my mind is just playing tricks on me. The uplifting air around me certainly helps with it, but I can't fully shake the anxious feeling.

Things get even worse when my family comes visit me. Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents... Some of them have those mysterious, shiny timers on their chest, some don't.

And I must admit, I am not the best actor. I can't keep up this calm appearance forever. That's why it doesn't take long for someone to notice.

"Tooru? Are you alright?" One of my older cousins, Tama, asks. "You look a bit... Sick? Scared?"

"Oh, yeah..." I answer. A lie quickly comes to mind, to serve as an explanation for my mood. "I just saw a bug."

The sixteen-year-old's eyes widen. "A bug?" She shivers, then yells "A BUG!"

Within seconds, the room is filled with chaos. Some people are standing on chairs, screaming, while others are sighing, burying their head in their hands, embarrassed.

"Where was it?" My mom, belonging to the second group, approaches me.

I point towards one of the kitchen counters, despite it not being true. My mom, however, manages to find a bug anyways. She catches it and puts it outside, bringing relief to everyone.

Everyone, except for me. Nothing has changed. I still see timers, they still make me uncomfortable. "Dad, can I go sleep for a minute?" I ask, hoping to escape the crowd.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Instead of saying 'yes' or 'no', he puts his hand on my forehead. "Hmm, you don't have a fever, it seems."

"I couldn't sleep last night." I lie again, something I normally never do. "The fatigue's giving me a headache..."

With a worried frown on his face, my dad signals that I should go. "Alright. I'll tell our guests. You go rest."

Slowly, I nod, quietly running towards my room right after. I don't even bother to close the door behind me. I dive on my bed and bury my head in my pillow.

No more timers. I will sleep now, and when I wake up, they will be gone. It's all just a weird dream.

Yet I can't fall asleep. The thought that this might all be real keeps me awake. The sounds of laughter coming from downstairs every now and then tell me that this whole day has happened.

Uncertainty, anxiety, nerves, all kinds of emotions run through my body. My mind is kept busy with the question 'Have I gone insane?'. Time goes by so, so slow. It feels like I can't breathe, like the blanket is an ocean swallowing me, as if my bed is quicksand.

But the thought of going downstairs, facing all those people and timers again, scares me more than anything. At least, for now, I can try to tell myself it was fake, that it was a dream, or my imagination.

Every second feels like an hour, but even then, nothing lasts forever. A soft knock on my open door almost makes me jump up.

"Tooru?" A tiny voice sounds. "Are you awake yet?"

Despite my racing heart, I pretend to get up slowly, rubbing my eyes. "Hmm?"

"It's time for dinner..." The person continues.

Already? I finally turn my gaze to the doorway. There, I find my cousin, Lana. She is two months younger than me.

I almost burst into tears as I find a brightly shining timer on her chest. Just over six years. But I don't mention it. "Alright. Thanks."

She disappears as silently as she came. Unwillingly, I follow her. Can I even get something down my throat?

The remainder of the evening goes by slowly, torturing me. I blame my mood, my restlessness, my inability to eat on my weariness.

When the guests finally leave and I return to my bed, I quickly pray to whatever god may be out there. Please, when I wake up tomorrow, let it be without any timers.

It is a prayer I will repeat every day for the rest of my life.