The Throne

Chapter 5

I was sitting at the dinner table with Nikos, Elysia and Amirah. It had been so awkward lately and mealtimes had become a lot quieter. I didn't even have enough energy to pretend to enjoy the bland chicken and carrots. I was slumped on my chair and my mother would have a fit if she saw me "ruining my good posture" like this. That made me think back to why we had come to Ezeland. To give me the chance to kill Amirah. I still didn't know if I could do it. We had known each other our whole lives and we were like sisters. I wasn't sure if I could live without her. Suddenly, I stood up and pushed my chair back. Without a word, l left. I couldn't bear the tense atmosphere and all the guilt and dread welling up inside of me was almost too much to deal with.

Back in my room, I lay on the large comfortable bed that I knew I would soon have to abandon. Maybe I could delay the killing...but for how long? I was gonna have to face it eventually. Unless I didn't... no. I had to do it eventually. It was probably better to get it over with. The guilt of even just planning it was seriously getting to me.

I reached under my mattress, revealing a small vial of liquid. I turned it over in my hand repeatedly, stuck in thought. The poison my mother had given me. She told me it was the best way to complete the murder easily and without getting caught. I felt my eyes beginning to water. I couldn't do this. I just wasn't cut out to be a murderer.

Murderer. It was a word I never wanted to be associated with... and yet I always had been. Even when I was young I was bullied by the other children in the village because of my mother. She had ruined my life from the start. I had never really blamed her as much as I was doing now, but I was realising just how much she deserved the blame. Also, if I killed Amirah, it would be different, my mother hadn't had her mother telling her to kill all those people. Had she?

I had never known anything about my family other than my mother, cousin and aunt and uncle. I didn't even know if most of them were alive or dead. That was the exact reason that Amirah had become like a sister to me. King Richard was my uncle and Queen Berengaria was my aunt. Clover and I were cousins. So, not only was I killing my best friend, but also one of my only known blood relatives and the Princess and only heir to the throne. So technically, I could also be hanged for treason if I was caught. Great. I guess that was why I had to use the vial of poison that I was still turning over in my hands. With no odour or taste, it would be impossible to identify the death as a murder. That was the only well thought out part of the plan, and I wasn't even the one who thought of it.

With all these thoughts still ricocheting around my mind like knives being thrown from one side to the other, I fell into a troubled sleep.

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For the next week, I mainly stayed in my room, sometimes taking a walk to the flower garden with Nikos. I spent almost every waking hour, and most of the supposed sleeping ones, trying to plan and gather enough courage to actually complete the murder. I also tried to avoid Amirah as much as possible without being suspicious. I couldn't bear to face her smiling face and kind words. My eyes were constantly leaking stray tears of resistance to this terrible task I've been dealt.

Elysia still glared at me whenever she saw me around the castle. Although, I deserved much more than glaring for what I was about to do...

A/n
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