While the World Ends Around Us (Make Believe With Me)

I can't even leave my room so I keep pouring

And I've been looking for someone to put up with my bullshit
I can't even leave my bedroom so I keep pouring
And I ain't seen a light of day since, well, that's not important
It's been long
- Feeling Whitney // Post Malone

Lucas actually wakes up this morning.

It's nice. Much better than laying against his wall all through the night, his eyes stuck on his laptop, watching Netflix or Youtube, or on his sketchbook, watching his pencil or pen or paint trailing across the page, leaving lines and smudges in its wake. And then looking up blearily when he realises he can see across his dark room because the sun is peeking through his blinds.

Today he wakes up when his phone starts buzzing and chiming next to his head, half under his pillow. It startles him, and he gasps as his eyes fly open, sitting up and muttering, "Jesus..." as he shuts off his alarm and tosses it to the floor next to him. It clatters against the wood and he winces, looking up at his door and running a hand through his hair.

He grabs food from the kitchen and eats it during his first class, scribbling the homework on a piece of paper he finds on the floor and doodling flowers and eyes as he forgets to pay attention. The teacher's voice turns into white noise.

- - -

He drifts off again in another class, and wakes up to a chorus of voices saying "Thank you," and "Goodbye." He doesn't bother joining them, instead just clicking the hang up button and dropping his head to his arm, sighing and closing his eyes for a second before pushing himself up and groaning.

It's the third red button he's pressed just today.

He thinks about how many he presses a day.

Five classes, five red buttons.

Five days a week.

For weeks and weeks.

And weeks.

Christ.

Lucas huffs and pushes himself to sit cross-legged in front of the computer. He pushes it out of his mind, the remembrance that this is... it. All he has. This and a few texts from Kes and Jayden, usually about school or other kids from school, often complaining. Usually complaining. Sometimes he gets texts from Isa, silly selfies or pictures of birds. She knows he likes birds. Sometimes he gets texts from Noah, pictures of his art, drawings and paintings and doodles, or texts from Janna, which are never expected but always make him laugh. Sometimes Liv texts him just to check in.

It.

Homework and classes and red buttons and once-in-a-while texts from people he doesn't see anymore.

And Jens, he remembers as his phone buzzes. And he smiles, but he really shouldn't, so he pushes it away as he reaches to the floor and grabs the phone, reading.

guess what i'm making...
🥚🍳👨🏻🍳

He lets the smile push its way back onto his face (there's no one to see anyway) as he shakes his head.

you didn't give me time to guess, dummy

He lays on his back and holds his phone above his head, sighing as the bubble appears on his screen.

i'm impatient

Lucas scoffs, shaking his head again.

anyway good morning 😌, Jens texts a few seconds later.

good morning 🌞, Lucas responds even though it's not really that sunny out. how are you today

well i woke up to my sisters arm hitting me in the face and i just burned an egg so that's just kind of how it's going so far
you?