rewrite the stars - jaywon

chapter 20

⚠️   content warning   ⚠️

this chapter contains underage
drinking and panic attacks.

Sunghoon was sitting on the ground, his fingers curled loosely around the neck of a bottle of some kind of clear alcohol. Jungwon couldn't make out what it was, not from the stripe of light that bled into Beomgyu's room from the hallway behind him.

"Yeah, it's me," he breathed. He hesitated, swallowing thickly. Sunghoon made a pitiful sight.

Jungwon pulled the door closed behind him, plunging them into near darkness. The only sources of light in the room were the blue lights of all the devices on Beomgyu's desk, and the yellowed light from the cityscape beyond the room's window.

Jungwon wondered if he ought to turn on a light but, looking at Sunghoon, he decided against it.

Jungwon sat cross legged on the ground, facing Sunghoon.

"Are you...," Jungwon could barely complete the question, when the answer was already so clear, "...are you okay, Sunghoon?"

"Okay? 'M awesome," he couldn't see Sunghoon's face, but he could hear the crack of his voice, belying his assurance as a lie.

"Oh. That's good to hear."

"What're you doin' all the way over there, Jungwon?" Sunghoon asked, his voice suddenly a notch louder, "Get over here."

Sunghoon lifted his arm. Jungwon hesitated again, then reminded himself that he and Sunghoon did that all the time. This was nothing new for them. It didn't mean anything, not ever and not now. He crawled over and tucked himself under Sunghoon's arm.

Sunghoon's head immediately fell onto Jungwon's shoulder. He let out a lengthy exhale, his damp breath hitting the skin at Jungwon's collarbone, sending a shiver down his spine.

"Here, let me have that," Jungwon reached for the bottle, lifting it from Sunghoon's hand, "you've had enough."

And Jungwon needed a bit more, he thought. He unscrewed the bottle cap, finding it already loose, and took a swig. He cringed, full body, the moment the taste hit his tongue. He gasped as the liquor poured down his throat, burning a path. It was some shitty kind of vodka.

Jungwon shook his head and set the bottle down. On second thought, he didn't need any more of that.

"Stop moving..." Sunghoon grumbled, his lips brushing up against Jungwon's bare skin. Jungwon felt another tremor shake him.

"No," he said, obstinately. "Tell me why you're drinking alone in a dark room while there's a party going on outside."

"Hmm," Sunghoon hummed, "No."

Jungwon bit his lip, and was silent, giving up just for a moment. He listened to the music pumping through the air, as he tried to fight through the slight haze in his mind for something to say. Beomgyu didn't favor bass-heavy music. He seemed to prefer slower, mellower R&B music. But, when filtered through the apartment's walls, the thumping of the lowest tones was all Jungwon could hear.

He let his head fall back, let it hit the soft mattress behind it.

"Does this have something to do with Sunoo and Ni-ki?" Jungwon asked, to silence.

Sunghoon sniffed and, for one moment, Jungwon was sure he'd soon be crying.

But Sunghoon only pulled back to look at Jungwon. His eyes shone, reflecting the blue lights from Beomgyu's desk.