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The inevitable happened.
As much as she didn't want it to, Josie found herself creating more and more distance with Mark. She'd reply to his texts late and with a lack of the enthusiasm that made her feel bad; she'd pass off basketball for having assingments due; she'd say she can't carpool with him because her class was cancelled.
Though Josie had grown to accept the fact she was hopelessly in love with him, it didn't mean she wanted to be. She hoped that the distance between them would help calm her feelings down, but it hurt more than anything. She missed him so much that he haunted her every dream in a way that had her yearning for him whenever her eyes opened.
Guilt gnawed at her conscience. The reason why she couldn't, why she didn't want to have feelings for Mark was so she wouldn't lose him. Yet at the rate she was going, she was already losing him—the last time she'd seen him he had looked so excited to see her, only to look so disappointed when Josie said she couldn't hang out.
One dream of Mark too many, Josie decided that she was going to be a big girl and remember her priorities: her friendship with Mark came before matters of the heart. So, she invited him over for a movie night and a beautiful feeling bloomed within her chest at the thought of spending time alone with him.
Movie nights normally meant cuddles.
Josie's cheeks warmed up. Platonic cuddles had always been a thing of theirs, but what now, since her feelings for him were no longer so platonic?
"Dude, it's been so long!" Mark walked into her room later that evening with the biggest grin she'd seen him wear. He looked thrilled to see her, engulfing her in a hug that made Josie realize how much she missed being in his arms.
Screw feelings. I just want to spend time with him, she thought.
They set up a comedy movie, bundled together under the same pile of blankets. Mark had his arm around Josie and she took the opportunity to lean against his shoulder, laughing into his chest whenever a scene was particularly funny. She felt warm, safe, secure snuggled up close to him—the way Mark's laugh sounded to her ears felt like home.
Approaching midnight, it was time for Mark to leave and Josie tried her best to mask her devastation. She watched sadly as Mark put his jacket on, fixing his hair by looking at the wall-lengthed mirror in the corner of her room.
You're so beautiful to me, she wanted to say to him.
"Sorry I haven't been around much," Josie said instead, rubbing the back of her neck. "Let's play basketball tomorrow night. Cool?"
"Awesome! I know I already train with my team like, everyday, but playing with you is different," Mark replied excitedly, then his voice softened. "I've missed it. I missed you."
Josie ignored how his stare into her eyes did not feel familiar; it was not the way Mark normally looked at her. This gaze of his was far more intimate, like he was looking at a work of art rather than his best friend since childhood.
"I missed you too. I especially miss you stinking up my car after your training," Josie teased, to which Mark playfully glared at her.
"Good night, Mark."
"Good night, Jo."
Mark pinched Josie's nose, a gesture so familiar yet now so foreign to her. He then turned towards the door, only to take a few steps backwards when he passed by Josie's study table. Only at that moment, Josie realized in horror what she had forgotten to do.
"Uh... dude? Why'd you draw hearts all over this picture of me?"
Josie snatched the photo from Mark's hand. She avoided his eyes, widened in clear shock and confusion.
"Did you write that? That... you're in love with me?"
It was still too new. She wasn't at all ready for him to find out, as Josie was still in the process of understanding her own feelings. Just the idea of confessing seemed so far away that she'd never even considered hinting to Mark about what she felt. For him to find out in such a humiliating way, Josie was in utter disbelief and shame.
Too consumed by the emotions that swarmed her very being, Josie gently pushed Mark out of her room, begging him to leave. For her to overpower him easily, she could see how surprised Mark really was—and it broke her.
Surely, if he had felt the same way, surely he would've bursted into happy tears and scooped her up for a kiss like a romantic fairytale. Instead, he looked as if his world had fallen apart.
"Please leave, Mark," she said with a trembling voice, instantly locking the door once he was out.
"Jo, come on. Talk to me."
"I don't want to," Josie held back a sob. This was what she was trying to prevent. "Just go home, Mark, I'm sorry."
"Jo, please—"
Josie blocked out his pleading voice, weakly climbing into her bad and pulling her blanket over her head. Ten years of friendship ruined by something as silly as love. Wasn't the way they loved each other as friends enough? Why, just why, did she have to let herself be so foolish?
The inevitable happened. She lost her best friend by falling in love with him.
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