New Kid

Breaking Point

Passion in my eyes, I lived it everyday..
But how could you go throw it all away?
In my dreams it's me and you..
It's there, I saw it all come true..
As time went by faith in you grew..
So one thing's left for me to do..

        I walked off stage, my guitar firmly clutched in my hands as I watched Michelle and Brian attack each other with yet another one of their annoying fucking make out sessions. It made me sick. After she pulled away from his kiss, she giggled and smiled, and I could see her mouth 'I love you' and I watched as Brian mouthed it back.
        "Fuckin' disgusting.." I grumbled, handing my guitar off to one of the roadies before I continued back to our dressing room. I flopped down on the couch and held my head in my hands, suddenly craving that powdery substance that had gotten me through the majority of this damn album release tour. I would have to settle with a cigarette for now, though; the rest of the band piled into the dressing room, giving each other high fives and playful slaps to the butt. Brian seemed to be missing from the group. Nobody even seemed to notice that I was upset; nobody except Johnny, that is.
        "You okay?" He asked quietly as he came over and sat down next to me, offering a cigarette and a lighter. I gladly took it, lighting myself up before handing his lighter back to him. I took a long, slow drag off of the cigarette, letting the smoke entirely fill my lungs before I blew it out, getting the first nicotine high I'd had in a while.
        "Not really, but.. I'll manage, dude. Thanks." He looked skeptical, but he nodded and then began to smoke his own cigarette. Brian came in a few minutes later, looking a little angry, but he quickly shook it off as he came over and gave my head a playful shove.
        "Watch out, Baker, don't burn yourself!" He growled playfully and shoved my head again, and this time, I'd had enough. I stood up from the couch and shoved him backwards, gritting my teeth and seething.
        "I've fucking had enough of you and your stupid little girlfriend! Why can't you just fucking leave me alone for once?!" I screamed before I stomped out to the bus, ignoring all the calls for me to come back; I also had to ignore the hurt look Brian was giving me. I climbed on before I literally stumbled back to my bunk, ripping open the drawer underneath it and shuffling through the items. I finally found what I was looking for underneath everything; a small plastic bag, filled with (you can guess, it isn't that hard) as well as a razor blade and a cut straw. I placed a book on my lap and poured some of the, ahem, substance, onto the cover. I cut the powdery stuff into three lines before I put the straw to my nostril and snorted all three in a row.
        "Zacky?" I heard Jimmy's voice call, and I quickly hid all the items under my comforter, rubbing my eyes and looking up as I saw him come into the bunk area. "Zee, do you wanna talk about what happened..? They're not gonna be back out here for a few more minutes.." He murmured, placing a hand on my shoulder. I could already feel the affects of the drugs beginning to set in, and I widened my eyes a little as I noticed how badly my hands were shaking. Jimmy seemed to notice it, too, because he heaved a loud sigh, looking down at the obvious lump in the covers from the book. "Zee, you shouldn't have done that.. Coke isn't the answer, buddy.."
        "Apparently nothing is the fucking answer." I snapped quickly, scratching at my arms nervously. "I'm in love with him, Jim. I'm in love with Brian and I'm so fucking tired of seeing him and that stupid little bitch shove their tongues down each other's throats, I'm so tired of hearing them fuck at night, I'm so tired of-" Jimmy clamped a hand over my mouth to silence me, and once I stopped muttering into his skin, he pulled his hand away and sighed.
        "I know, Zee.. Trust me, I think the only one that doesn't know is Brian. But are you really sure you want to love him? I mean, look at what he does to Michelle.. He's constantly hooking up with groupies, he's not even trying to hide it." Jimmy said softly, and I sighed, leaning forward and burying my face into his chest.
        "He's doing it because he's fucking unhappy." I whined, and he nodded, putting his arms around my shoulders in a reassuring way.
        "It'll all work out, Zee.. I promise. But you've gotta kick the habit, dude." He murmured firmly, and I nodded, but I knew that I couldn't stop as long as Brian and Michelle were together. I would have been fine if it was anyone other than that stupid, plastic, fake bitch. Actually.. I don't think I would've been okay if Brian was with anyone other than me. It had to be me. But I couldn't just break them up, what kind of person and friend would I be if I purposely broke them up to get together with Brian? An extremely selfish one, no doubt.