Loki and Nym

Part 13- An explanation

LOKI's POV

She stood in front of my door, stopping me from entering. A pointless gesture given that I could just teleport inside, but it was the sentiment I suppose. In all honesty I wasn't thrilled at the idea of entering the room. I had destroyed it, pulled down the curtains, ripped the bedding apart, smashed the lamp. It had felt good at the time. But as soon as Thor had left my room I'd sunken down into a corner and looked at the wave of destruction I had left behind me. Looking around the room was now a constant reminder of how I ruin everything.

Really how could I have thought she would want me.

As I looked down at her I realised that even her illusion couldn't hide the red eyes and deep dark circles under her eyes, she hadn't been sleeping either. "Loki?" She said to me quietly. I looked down at her, "what?" I replied, cursing myself for how harsh I sounded when I watched her flinch. "I just wanted to expla..." I rolled my eyes, anger rising inside me "You have nothing to explain. I was simply bringing you tea to return the favour of your making my room and suffering through a dance with me." I lied, the second lie I had ever told her.

I don't know if it was my tone or the words but tears began to fill her eyes. I scoffed "Oh honestly darling, what could there be to cry about? Did Barnes run off and leave you for another stupid girl?" I was so angry, I didn't care as I watched the tears fall faster and harder. "Did you think I needed some explanation? That I wanted anything from you? You are nothing, you are pathetic, your tears mean nothing to me y/n."  I opened my mouth again but she screamed, as if she was in pain. "ENOUGH".

I was startled, this gentle creature had never raised her voice before. She tried to speak but was choking back her tears, I felt a pang of sadness and guilt watching what my words had done to her. She leaned forward to place her hand on mine. I pulled away fast. "Please" she begged "I can't talk, just let me show you" she managed to get out.

I sighed, I suppose I had said my piece. I extended my hand and as soon as she touched it I felt the electricity run between us. Suddenly the hallway exploded with green mist, not my magic, but hers. I'd never actually seen her magic before, it's green like mine, I almost smiled to myself.

The mist cleared and we were in y/n's room, I hadn't looked around her room at all, I had been so quick to walk in and out, but I knew where we were, because she was there, by the bed. We had not moved from the hallway. It took me a moment to realise I was looking at a vision. Clever. I was standing by the door looking in, she was no where to be seen. Except the version of her on the floor, sobbing and cleaning up the broken tea cup.

"y/n talk to me" Barnes spoke, I winced, why would she make me watch this. "It's just" she began to sob, "I don't remember", she was crying harder now, it almost seemed like she couldn't breathe "and Loki just". At saying my name y/n completely dissolved into tears, I could hardly watch the confusion and pain on her face. Barens moved off the bed, he was fully dressed, I had not noticed that before.

He stood above her and spoke "y/n, nothing happened between us last night", I faltered and took a deep inhale, "You were so drunk, Thor and I carried you to bed, we made you drink some water and take some pain killers". My brother had helped too? To Hel, I should have listened to him and asked about her.

"You were upset about something, complaining about your head" he continued "something about a call being too loud" Barnes had moved to her and was rubbing her back now, she seemed to calm a little, I saw only a friend consoling a friend, the envy that ran through me I realised came from the fact that he was comforting her. Not me. "You were really upset and scared, you seemed like you were in a lot of pain" She had been in pain? He was helping her? My brother had not told me she was in pain. Though I had never asked.

"Thor went back to the party pretty quickly because you said he was making your head worse. But you asked me to stay and I did, I was just sitting with you till you fell asleep but I guess I passed out at some point, I'm sorry y/n".  With that the smoke began to clear and once again I was in the hallway and I dropped her hand.

There it was, what Barnes had tried to tell me several days ago when he had come to my room. What she had wanted to tell me. She was in pain and her friend had helped her. She had cried so much at my leaving, why? What did that mean? Had I got this wrong?

Y/N POV

I watched his face, twist and frown as he watched the scene. I didn't want to show him what Bucky had said about "messing things up between us", he didn't need to know about that. Loki took a deep inhale hearing Bucky say nothing had happened. Watching him, he seemed in pain, I realised for the first time that if he did care for me, it might be hard to watch.

It had been so hard to feel if he was being genuine with his insults. As I searched to see if it was his true feelings my own mind began to feel the anger and sadness he did, his anger swirled inside my mind and mixed with the call. My head had started burning, I couldn't take it, I had to scream to make it stop. Tears were still rolling down my face as I watched him, pleading that he would see and realise nothing had happened.

The vision was over, the green mist cleared from around him, and he turned to look at me. I couldn't tell what the look in his eyes was. He looked sick, his face still red with anger, but he seemed to have tears in his eyes. He opened his mouth to reply, I held my breath.

As he opened his mouth a familiar sound started. The mission alert siren sounded. Jarvis was cut off as Tony practically screamed through the speakers "everyone get down here, we need to go, RIGHT NOW".