For Good (a Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction)

Chapter 4: Ain't It Fun?

I like to think I'm a pretty compassionate, empathetic person. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be any good at my job. I treat people the way I think they'd want to be treated, not necessarily the way I'd want to be treated.

In other words, I like to think I'm a fairly friendly person.

Which is why I feel so bad for treating Tom the way that I did this past week. It's not that I've been plain mean to him, I just haven't been... myself. But it's all for the best. Every time I see him walk through the door for our sessions, I feel that fluttering in my chest. But I can't allow myself to feel anything for him. Needless to say, it's been causing me to have a bit of an internal crisis. How can I be any good at treating him if I don't show a little bit of compassion or even a bit of interest in his recovery?  This is the question that has been consuming my mind all week. But when he arrived for our last session of the week, proudly walking through the door sans sling, it took everything in me not to jump for joy and envelope him in a bone-crushing hug.

That was when I realized that he really has been listening to me and meeting me halfway, and when I decided that maybe it couldn't hurt to let the real Peyton out for a little while.

On Monday morning, I make my way to the clinic with an extra pep in my step as Larger Than Life by the Backstreet Boys blares in my earbuds. This song never fails to put me in a good mood, and if I'm going to apologize to Tom today, being in a good mood will help me be more sincere.

I arrive at the clinic, offering a polite wave and a 'good morning' to Tammy as she greets me from behind her desk. I'm not surprised that Tom isn't here yet, as I almost always beat him here. This morning, however, I check my watch as I start to unpack my things and notice that I am especially early. Opening up my laptop and launching Spotify, I scroll through my playlist for a specific song.

I don't normally sing lead vocals during our band gigs. That's Simon's job, and the rest of us fill in with backing vocals and harmonies. But lately, the band has been wanting to switch up our setlist and we've been working on a few covers with me on lead vocals. I scroll down to Ain't It Fun by Paramore, turning the volume up almost as high as it'll go. I've got the guitar part for this song almost perfected, but I've been struggling to nail down the vocals. If I'm going to take this opportunity to practice a bit, I'd rather Hayley Williams' vocals be louder than mine.

I finish unpacking my things and mindlessly sing along to the first verse and chorus of the song, checking the equipment around the room and answering a few emails. By the time the second verse rolls around, I am almost fully into it, air-guitaring the corresponding chords and closing my eyes to completely concentrate on the song.

By the time I get to the bridge, I am utterly lost in the music, dancing around as if I was Tom Cruise in Risky Business and clapping my hands along to the almost chant-like beat.

Don't go cryin'

To your mama

'Cause you're on your own in the real world

Ain't it fun? Ain't it fun?

Baby, now you're one of us

Ain't it fun? Ain't it fun? Ain't it fun?

As I riff my way through the second part of the bridge into the last chorus, I happen to turn back around and immediately freeze.

Oh no.

Tom stands behind me near the door of the room, holding two to-go coffee cups with his jacket slung over his right forearm. He's as still as a statue, staring at me with his mouth slightly open as if I had three extra heads.