It's Complicated

Four

Mani and Sakthi bid them goodbye, Ashwin closed the door then immediately turned to her.

"Ippo sollu. Enna?"

She sat on the couch.

"Enna na?"

"Ma, you've been quiet the whole night."

"So I'm not allowed to be quiet ever? I have to be chirpy and happy all the time?"

Ashwin blinked, taken aback by her hostility. He knew something was off with her from the moment he saw her. His feeling heightening after her half-hearted explanation for missing his texts and the way she had totally avoided looking at him. Usually if she was upset about something he would be the first to hear all about it.

Unless this was about...

No, it couldn't be, there was no chance of that. But he did have to talk about that with her sooner or later.

He sat next to her slowly, clearing his throat.

By nature, Ashwin was a soft person. He tried to be straightforward but he hated hurting or offending people. All his life he had been dealing with female attention, proposals had come to him in every way imaginable. He felt helpless, guilty every time he had to let someone down. It was overwhelming to know a person had that much affection that you just couldn't return in the same way.

He knew she had a big crush on him in the past (as she was quite open about that) and maybe she still held that admiration for him. They didn't discuss such things together, despite their closeness both had some hesitance in sharing about their love lives or romantic interests. It just felt weird for some reason. He wasn't sure how she would react to him having a girlfriend. Their bond was so important to him and he didn't want anything to change between them. It sounded like it would be an unbearably awkward discussion, and if her doe eyes expressed even one second of hurt he knew he would crumble.

"Listen ma, I have something to get off my chest, if you tell me what's bothering you then we can talk about my thing.

"You go first."

"Illa ma, nee sollu."

"No, I'm not saying anything until you do."

"Why ma?"

"Because I want you to go first."

Ashwin fought to control his annoyance. Women were sometimes impossible to understand.

"Seri, na soldren."

Sivaangi sat with her arms crossed, calmly waiting to hear what she already knew.

"Basically...amma longtime kalyanam pannu, kalyanam pannu nu beg pannanga. I always said no, you know how busy I am. I didn't have time for all that. But she convinced me to meet one match, Kavya Narayanan, and we surprisingly hit it off. I liked her, and we kind of got together. It all happened so fast. We're not engaged or anything of course, but it is a serious relationship. You would like her Sivaangi, she's a great woman."

Sivaangi thanked God that she heard this news from Sarath anna, and was able to control her reaction. Hearing it straight from him was a different slap to reality, it felt like her heart dropped into the abyss.

Despite her intense turmoil, she just casually shrugged in response.

"Old news. Ennaku already theriyum."

Ashwin widened his eyes in shock.

"What? Eppadi?"

"Sarath anna last week sonnaru."

She sighed.

"Intha vishiyam oru third person kitta kettu therinjuchukarathu evlo hurt annachu theriyuma? Why else do you think I've been so upset with you Ashwin?"

He felt a sudden wave of shame, like he had been reading the situation completely wrong.

"No ma, it's just I know you saw me a certain way before, maybe had some type of attraction...I don't know. I didn't want to make things weird between us so eppadi sollanu nu theriyala. I wanted to make sure to be clear and honest, but I didn't do that. I'm sorry, that was really stupid of me and you should have been the first person to hear about this. You know I can't stand seeing you upset, I guess that's why I was so hesitant."

She knew his intentions were always good, even if they came off wrong sometimes. And her heart always sided with him, always wanted to defend and protect him from even the slightest discomfort. So she shoved all her conflicting feelings aside, knowing they were useless. She could barely understand them herself, there was no point in sharing them with someone who saw her in a completely platonic way.

He has never belonged to her, and he never would. Some part of her had always known this day would come, and she knew she had to be the bigger person.

"Ashwin, I know you are protective of me and my feelings, but I'm not some baby. Just because I think you're handsome and nice doesn't mean I have some crazy fantasies about us. Maybe you took my jokes and teasing too seriously. I'm- I'm not upset, I'm really not. The most important thing is always supporting and being there for you in life. Your happiness is my happiness. Purinjucha?

Ashwin smiled softly.

"Eppo ivlo mature aana, rowdy?"

"Life vazha vazha situations pathu varathu thaan."

Though the conversation went well, there was still a palpable awkwardness in the air. He decided that was enough about this topic for now.

He stuck out his hand.

"Anyways. Sorry ma."

She gripped his hand, giving it a shake.

"Paravalai ma. But just because we are good again doesn't mean you get away with no punishment."

She smiled devilishly.

"You have to watch a kdrama with me."

Ashwin gasped.

"Ennathu? Aiyo athu mattum vendam ma, please!"

"No no no I pick the punishment and you are watching whether you like it or not."

"Please ma ethu venalum pandren athu mattum mudiyathu! Tamil romance films kuda avlo pakka matten, ithula Korean, Japanese mudiyathu."

"I don't care, you are watching and you don't get up from this couch until I say so."

He groaned comically, sinking his head into a pillow as Sivaangi grabbed the remote. She ignored the lump in her throat as she scrolled through Netflix to find an apt punishment for Ashwin Kumar.

How did you guys feel about their conversation? What will happen next 🤔 Comment and let me know what you thought!!