It was a hot day. Everyone was indoors, besides Hank. Out killing random grunts for joy, or just out of boredom. Deimos and Sanford sometimes came with him but started sweating so much they took about 4 showers.. together (/hj). After a day of killing, Hank went into a store to buy water since they felt very dehydrated. Upon drinking the water and the corner of his eye- a blender.
Home, Hank set up the blender,
"What are you doing?" Sanford said.
"Blender." Hank responded as they turned it on, sanford was watching hank as he stared at the blender.
"Yo- wait what's happening?" Deimos said as he walked in
"I don't know but I'm scared" Sanford whispered to deimos. Hank watched and watched and watched for a couple of hours. Everyone went to bed besides Hank 'RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR' the blender continued its loud sounds, Hank couldn't stop watching and listening.
"Hank.. turn that off its 2 in the morning I CANT SLEEP" Deimos said annoyingly, Deimos went over to Hank and the blender, he unplugged the blender. Hank looked at Deimos dead in the eyes,
"plug it in again, now."
"Uhhhhhh" Deimos ran back into his room and locked it.
The next day
"Ughhhh I couldn't sleep at all with that stupid blender.." Deimos groaned as he walked with Sanford to the kitchen
"No kidding we gotta get rid of that thing" Sanford responded rubbing his eyes-
"YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING- HAVE YOU BEEN THERE THIS ENTIRE TIME LOOKING AT THE BLENDER?!" Deimos exclaimed
"Yes, yes I did.. this blender is.. beautiful... I cant stop watching it.." Hank said still watching the blender, Sanford walked over and unplugged the blender and took it
"Blender? Or continue killing. Choose one." Sanford said angrily.
"Both, now give it back"
"No. Pick one of the options"
"Or"
"Hank..." Sanford said in an annoyed tone *sigh*
"I give up" Sanford walked away, Deimos ran to catch up with Sanford.
Hank continued watching it still..
"Maybe their right maybe I am using this blender too much.." Hank thought
"Maybe if I used it more.. in a different way..."
Hours later
"We're home!" Sanford yelled as he and Deimos walked in, surprised he didn't see Hank.. or the blender in the kitchen he thought nothing of it, until he heard a thump upstairs
"Uhhh what was that-" Deimos questioned
"I really don't wanna know" Sanford said with a worrying face appear
"I'm looking.." Deimos said as he went upstairs, opening the door Deimos had a horrific sight
"What are you doing.. SLEEPING WITH THE DANG BLENDER?!?" Startled Hank jumped awake
"Uhhh.. uhm.. nothing......"
"SANFORD C'MERE"
"DO NOT-" Sanford ran up the stares before Hank could do anything
"WHAT THE- HANK- WHAT- WHY- WHO GAVE YOU THE IDEA TO SLEEP WITH A DANG BLENDER?!" Sanford yelled loudly as he was disturbed
"Because.. blenders.. blenders are hot"
THE END
Part 2 😳😳😳
After a couple months after the... "Incident" everyone has settled down a bit.
"So uhh... how are you and your.. blender?" Deimos said staring at Hank then his blender
"I'm starting a marriage between us, me and blender. We are madly in love and do.. madly things in bed...." Hank said and then Sanford choked on water
"Excuse me what" Sanford said grossed out
"Me and my blender are getting married, I thought you guys were supportive" Hank looked down at his blender, kissing it on the side😳
"And I'm leaving-" Deimos tried to run but then sanford grabbed his arm then pulled him to the side
"We are not letting him marry that blender..." Sanford whispered in Deimos's ear
"I'm not getting anymore involved with this than I should be" Deimos whispered back
"We have to.. we have to get that blender away"
Hank walked over
"So what are you two talking about.." Deimos and Sanford jumped
"O-oh uhhh nothing.. how about you....??" Sanford nervously spoked
"Yeah what Sanford said, now, you two can talk... and I will go and.." Deimos took a pack of cigarettes out and slowly walked away
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING WITH THOSE-" Sanford ran at Deimos and Deimos ran from him and started going outside
"I guess it's just you and me.. my beloved." Hank kissed his blender once again, Hank carried his blender up to his bed sat on it and held his blender very closely, mwa,
"I love this blender.. oh I cant wait till we get married"
WEEKS LATER
A day before the wedding, Sanford and Deimos did everything they could to get rid of the blender, tried sneaking it as Hank slept- well.. Hank had a too strong of a grip- Tried throwing it away while Hank was out killing- he kept it in a bag when he did go killing, and many more tries.
"Hank PLEASE, don't marry that blender- find someone.. real..? Someone just.. better than a stupid blender" Sanford groaned
"1st of all, I will marry this blender. 2nd of all it's my choice, my life. 3rd of all this blender can not be replaced itself or someone better." Hank said glaring at Sanford
"I give up" Sanford sat down as Deimos comforted him
"We tried, right? Its not too bad.. I guess"
"Yeah, you're right. At least we got each other"
xD NEXT DAY
*Wedding music*
Hank walked up the isle in his best suit, a very hot.. a smoking hot... very delicious hot mmmm so hot bloody suit, (AHEM, anyways) ———
Hank walked up to his blender
"Beautiful like always.. m'lady 😳😳" Hank said yes to everything
"You may now kiss.. your bride.. blender...?" Hank started to make out with his blender, everyone left.
LONG TIME AHEAD
Now. The blender and Hank had lovely babies, Deimos and Sanford were still disgusted.
THE END
YOU ARE READING
Hank x Blender
HumorSanford and Deimos witnessed something they never wanted to see..
