The Rooftop

Unconventional Meeting

As I sat at the edge of the building under the pouring rain, I remember the days when I begged him that ending it wouldn't get rid of his pain, but now I understand.

Even though it has been 365 days since the incident, I was still consumed with guilt, sadness, and pain. I blamed myself for what happened. I should have been there more for him, I should have been able to prevent this, but I wasn't able to. As much as I blamed myself, I resented him for it. He wasn't the only one that had to go through all of this. I truly thought that he would have fought harder. I thought that I would be one of the reasons he would want to live for as he was one of mine, but I guess I wasn't enough for him.

The thoughts in my head were too loud for me to notice that someone was standing there. Through the pouring rain, I hear a low voice asking me if I was okay. Startled, I look behind me to find a guy standing there across from me. I manage to crack out a no while shaking my head. I get up and step away from the edge. I couldn't hold it any longer and I break down. I am not one to share their emotions or cry freely in front of others, but I acted strong for far too long. It was too much pain for one person to handle on their own. He slowly approaches me as I sit there on the ground crying and I slowly feel his hesitant arms wrap around me. His embrace was warm and comforting. I hear his soft voice saying "let it all out, it's gonna be okay" and I couldn't help but cry even harder because I have been keeping it all in for God knows how long. As I am crying there on the ground I begin to feel my breaths getting quicker every second, they were getting out of control. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. This can't be happening again, not right now. I think I am having a panic attack. My hands are shaking. Everything is spinning. I can hear my heart beating so loudly, it's deafening. I then feel him squeeze me a bit harder and lightly rub my back, slowly getting me back to reality. I continue to take one deep breath at a time and slowly release them out to try and gain back control. Breath in. Breath out. Again.

A few moments later I was steady enough to get up and leave. I carefully let go of his embrace and feel a cold gush of wind hit my skin giving me goosebumps, making me wish I never had to let go. Something about his embrace was comforting and left me with the feeling of wanting to stay there forever. As I am getting up I try to look up at him but I can't exactly see him as my vision was blurry from the built-up tears. I manage to mumble a quick thank you but as soon as I did I dash towards the roof's door. Right before the door slammed, I could hear him calling out for me; I didn't look back.

Soaking wet, I start sprinting back down the stairs to get down to my apartment and get out of my clothes. I feel the cold droplets of water still dripping from my hair onto my skin and I shiver. I turn on the shower and sit on the floor under the warm water hoping that it would wash away the pain. Wash away the tears. There isn't anything that a good hot shower won't fix, right?

As I am sitting there with my eyes closed surrounded by steam, I began to reminisce over some old memories. I never had an easy life, especially as a kid who grew up in an orphanage. I was told that I was left on their doorstep as a baby on a cold rainy night. That was how they gave me my name, Reva. Reva is a name of Hindi origins that means rain. They were able to find out that my mother died during childbirth but didn't know of the whereabouts of my father. In the orphanage were two other kids that I soon called family, Nora and Emersyn. Living in this abusive environment, that was supposed to be caring and loving, was strenuous; so we stuck together. Each of us had the other's back and took care of each other for years.

When we turned 14, we decided that we couldn't stand being there anymore, so we did what we thought would be impossible, we escaped. We began planning as soon as possible and listing all the pros and cons. We knew running away would set us free but the question was, how would we survive out there on our own? We were too naive to think about this plan thoroughly and properly but we did what we thought was best at that time. We were full of adrenaline and excitement, but also fear of the unknown. The orphanage had a set bedtime for us at 9 PM so we planned to escape the orphanage then. In order to escape, we had to wait for the caregiver to fall asleep at her desk like she usually did after taking a round to make sure all the kids were asleep. As soon as the three of us heard her loud snores from the end of the hallway we signaled at each other to say that it was time to go through without plans. We tiptoed to the backdoor that always had its key hidden behind a pot and quietly unlocked the door. The moment that door opened we ran as fast as our legs can take us. The entire time I could hear my heart thumping louder than ever and I could feel my blood pumping through my veins full of adrenaline. Once we were all far enough from the orphanage we just all stared at each other quietly before we ended up laughing harder than ever. We were still in shock because none of us expected to ever be able to pull this off. We continued walking the streets in the dark to a nearby city and slept in the first park we saw. By then we expected the orphanage to send out people to look for us, but they couldn't care less. When the sun fully rose, we went and explored the area. That is when we found an old abandoned garage where we stayed at. It was right next to a small grocery store that was owned by an old couple. As 14-year-olds we really didn't think this plan through. We barely had any money to get us through a week's worth of food. We decided to try grabbing some food from the grocery and running out before anyone noticed, but obviously, that plan didn't work out. We were caught right away by the old man's wife. They threatened to call the police on us, but we begged them not to and tried to explain our situation to the best of our abilities. They took pity on us and offered to take us in for a while. That is how we got to know Mr. and Mrs. Browne who we now call Noah and Evelyn. They were the only parental figures that we ever had in our lives.

We were very thankful that we met them, even though it wasn't in the best circumstances. They enrolled us in school and the three of us began taking shifts at the grocery store to try and help around and to thank them for taking us in. They were an old couple who were never able to conceive children, even though they really wanted to, so it's kind of funny how God's plans work. They were now given three kids! They soon fell in love with us dearly as we did with them. Evelyn soon became a mother figure to me. She had one of the most gentle souls you could ever cross by, which is something the three of us weren't used to. She had the most vibrant and peaceful aura. I remembered the days when she used to always brush and braid my long black hair every night before bedtime as a form of bonding time. She used always caress my hair as I fell asleep next to her and remembering this made me tear up because I never imagined I would be blessed with a mother like her. Noah was also the father I always dreamt of having as a little girl, the type of father you ready about it in fairytales. He was the one to teach me all about life and the many skills I have today. He had a hobby for fixing cars that he soon shared with the three of us. He taught us everything we needed to know about cars from how to fix broken engines to how to make a rusty, old car look and feel brand new. So, we all decided to make use of the abandoned garage and we set up a workshop there. With the help of the Brownes, we started getting customers and making good money. That is also how we got into street racing, something that we all loved but would soon come to regret deeply.

My flashbacks were soon cut short by the abrupt freezing cold water falling on my back. The heater must have broken. As I get out of the shower, I take a quick glance at the mirror. I look at my face and see that my eyes were still bloodshot red and puffy, so was my face to the point where my cheekbones were no longer defined. I grabbed my towel from the rack and dry myself up. Since I wasn't really in the mood to style my hair properly I decided to just put my long hair in a quick messy bun. I brush my teeth and get into my pajamas to get ready to sleep and I just hope that tomorrow wouldn't be as hard as today. It was Emersyn's death anniversary.