Insure Our Love: A LiMu Emu x Doug story

chapter one: midlife crisis

Dedicated to Manly_Red-Riot . May your birthday be filled with happiness and cursed fanfic.

Now, without further adieu, I present: Insure Our Love, A LiMu Emu x Doug Story

———————

Doug was having a crappy day, and he didn't know why.

It was just another day selling insurance with his best friend LiMu Emu, just like any other day.

Normally, he found no greater joy than when he was selling insurance...but today was different.

Doug found himself distracted, unable to concentrate on the task at hand. But of course, he had no choice but to concentrate, because LiMu was a bird. He couldn't speak, so he couldn't sell insurance on his own.

Doug tried his best, but he wasn't his usual, cheery self. He was feeling glum...but why?

The day dragged by at a snail's pace. Finally, Doug was driving LiMu home from work (they always carpooled since LiMu can't drive) and he struggled to keep his focus on the road. His focus kept drifting to LiMu, watching him peck the car window. Doug smiled to himself. What an adorable bird. I'm so lucky I have LiMu...

Doug got home that night and went straight to bed. Donna, his wife, watched him slam the door to their bedroom but didn't question it.

Meanwhile, LiMu and his wife Linda were playing bingo. What a fun night at the LiMu household! LiMu was oblivious to the crisis his best bud was going through, and was totally annihilating Linda at bingo. What better way to wind down after a long day doing the Lord's work, customizing insurance so customers only pay for what they need?

If anything, it was better than what Doug was doing. Presently, Doug was curled up in bed, crying into his pillow and singing mournfully along to "Put Your Head On My Shoulder."

What was happening to Doug? He wished his bestie LiMu were here right now to assuage his suffering...