Second Chance

Coward

Mercy

"You don't wanna hear this do you?" Dad said. "But you know you have to hear this don't you?"

"Dad.." I objected.

"Sweetheart, stop it." Dad's voice turned firm. "I've been watching after you all this while. I've seen you take risk of millions of dollars without batting an eyelids. Make decisions which went wrong even the slightest and your entire career would be in danger. You'll be chastised by those old foggies to death. Yet I've never seen you shy away from it. What happens to that bold girl now? Why are you so scared now?"

"Because even if... Even if I fail, it doesn't mean the end of everything. It won't mean that I will stop existing and as long as I exist, I'll make something out of myself. Not that I have to remind you dad. I have begun not from zero but negetive yet made it back to the top. A failure in business will not daunt me." I said, still looking at the vast forest in front of me.

I my past life, I was exiled from the company and was barred to use the Donavon name. The entire business community knew me as the abandoned adopted daughter of the Donavons and everyone wanted to keep a distance from me. But that didn't stop me. I literally started from negetive yet within ten years, the name, Mercy entertainment company could be seen associated with most of high budget movies that had revenue in billions. Mercy entertainment app threw Netflix and Amazon to dust, ranking first in fresh and entertaining content that catered all type of masses. It came to the point that those shareholders started asking me to come back and join the company and associate my entertainment company with them so they too could have a piece of the pie.

So I'm not exaggerating, but even if those old foggies threw me out, with my experience of two lifetimes and my tyrant of a grandfather's training, I'm pretty sure I can get the same result in two. They have nothing to scare me. If I fail, I fail. Big deal? I'll just start all over again. As long as I am alive, I'll make something out of myself.

"But, I don't have the confidence when it comes to my private life. I... One failure in a relationship has already left me broken to the point that it still haunts me, even after a life time, I'm still not able to get through with it. I can't take another blow of the same caliber again. I'm... I'm not strong enough for that dad. I'll never be strong enough for that." My voice shook imaging that pain, that hurt that I faced. That feeling of being isolated, the feeling of my loved ones hating me, being disgusted in me... I won't be able to take it again.

Dad looked at me for a second before saying. "Then just leave him. Since you're so scared of him leaving you after Chastity returns, since you're not strong enough to start a relationship which may hurt you in future, stop being with Lucas then. When he touches you, when he flirts with you let him know he's not appreciated, there can never be a relationship between you in the future. Why keep him around? Why do you ignored his love filled eyes instead of stopping it?"

I looked down. Not meeting his eyes. Since I don't want to have a relationship with him, since I don't want to love him, why don't I just stop him from touching me, from feeling me?

"I can't." I finally accepted in a low voice. I'm a stubborn person and my heart is more stubborn than me. Once it has decided on a person, it won't give up on him no matter what. But like I ones told Luke, loving someone and being with a person is two different things. To love a person, you need to love their strong points but to be with a person, you need to accept them as a whole. Accept the way they treat you, accept the way they are, the way they act, their morals, their character. There is no point in being together with someone you cannot accept fully.  It will just mean torment for the time you're together with the other.

And that's where the problem arises. I love Lucas. I love the way he treats me, like an equal, like a partner. He respects my decisions and never forces his thoughts on mine. I can never be a submissive wife and he respects that. He is strong man that can shoulder the sky if it was to fall. But never once has he made me feel that he's better than me because he is more successful than me or because he's a man. When I need someone behind me for support, he's there. When I need someone beside me to shoulder the problems with me, he's still there. He is the kind of man I both love and want to be with. He's not a perfect man, but he is a perfect live partner to me. So how can I get over him?

You get over people only when one of the conditions are fulfilled. First, when you see something wrong in them that no longer catches your attention, second if your relationship lost that spark and third when they leave you. And in my case, none of the above is applicable. I love each and everything about that man. How do I move on from him?

"You know, when your mother came to me, saying that she was carrying my child, there was a time that I really wanted to say no to her. I knew that woman didn't love me or wanted to be with me. I knew she didn't even want my child that was in her womb and that she hated the fact that she was an unmarried mother in her teens. She was just desperate to get out of that house and she was willing to do anything for the time being. Ones it was over and she gets back her much needed freedom, she'll be completely different person. And I really thought of just leaving it be or just leaving it with child support. After all, I'm not the most honest man out there. Do you know what stopped me?" Dad asked.

"I just thought of what would happen if  I did that. What would happen if I left my unborn child with such a family, with such a mother and would I be able to live with myself if that were to happen. The answer was I couldn't. So the real reason I married your mother was not because I have some extra courage. It because I was not strong enough to leave my child behind. And I must say, your mother never really gave me a chance to regret my decision. She never cheated on me, never threw unnecessary tantrum like other women to want this and that and to not have time for her. She was a good wife, and except for you she was also a good mother to the rest children. And also the child because of whom I married her was pretty satisfactory." I chuckled at his words.

" Now I ask you Mercy, what are you really not strong enough for? To love him or to leave him?" As his words ended, I was jolted awake in my car seat and realised that I fell asleep in my car in front of the cliff.

A/N: Next chapter is going to be a bit... I don't know how but let's just say, intersting 😉😉😉