The Impossible World of Easton Mcclaire

Cinnamon Waffles with a side of throw up

Right, so now that I described the apocalyptic event that would soon cause my world to come crashing down; it's only right that I tell you everything that occurred following that traumatizing fight with Lila Stewart.

After getting my ass kicked every different, Lila invited herself to my house. Invited is such a fun and friendly term so let me rephrase that. Lila pummeled her way into my apartment and trashed it with all her colorful shit then refused to leave, let me explain. This is my least favorite part of the story.

"Should we take the subway or a taxi?" She asked nonchalantly as she sashed down the cracked sidewalk. Weeds barricaded their way through the breaks in the cement. Specks of trash decorated the sides of the buildings we passed by.

"My house is not a woman's homeless shelter. You are not-" I spat towards her back since she was multiple paces away from me.

"Fine, then I'll go to the police station. I'm sure they'll be glad to catch the bastard who's been stealing money from innocent people." She stopped and turned to me.

"You know what, do it. It'll be my word against yours and since you happen to look and act as you do, who do you think they are going to believe?" I barked. I wasn't actually going to let that happen! Nor did I plan on ever pleading my case to the fucking cops!!

She stopped walking and whipped her head around to look at me. The same feral look as before was on her face. "Fine, let's do it." She nodded. "You have no idea how crazy I am!"

" I think I have a pretty good idea." I retorted.

"Say cheese." I could hear the smile in her voice when she said it. Suddenly her sparkly fucking phone was in my face and she flashed me a toothy smile while her finger was pressed on the screen.

"What the f-" I looked at her.

"I was recording you. Since you walked out of the bar. It's your word against your word." Then another smile.

How could someone so visibly stupid do something so clever? It's beyond me. I've been bamboozled by a lunatic. How did I allow this to happen?

"Did you really think I was going to talk to you without some type of protection? It's 2022, the world is crazy right now." She giggled and waved her phone around some more.

"You got to be kidding me". I muttered under my breath.

"So, again, subway or taxi?"

I was bubbling with rage and irritation. I can't have someone in my space. I can't have someone where I work. I hate people. I hate being around people especially crazy people. My house is my domain. I won't be my domain if there is a colorful lunatic running around it. What do I do? How do I fix this? Maybe I could kill her? No, she'd take too long to kill; like a cockroach. Maybe I could buy her a place to stay so she wouldn't have to crash at my place. No, then she'd mooch off of me and I have money but not enough to support both our lifestyle's.

"Cab. I don't ride the  subway." I deadpanned.

"Of course you don't. Your way too high maintenance to be straight." She muttered under her breath but I heard every word.

"I very much like pussy, Lilla. Thanks for your concern though."

"First, we have to go get my stuff though." She talked as she walked. I trailed behind her like a dog that was beat after running away from home.

"No. No. What stuff?" I physically cringed and always twitched.

"My clothes and some other stuff." She shrugged like it was nothing.