Hopeless

Lingering Fear

Diary Entry 1: 14th May 2011

Today, has been extremely shit I have been shielding my brother from our abusive mother and things are really getting out of hand. I can't take this anymore I have to do something I am going days on end putting myself through the same shit different day. My Dad is even worse. I just hope it gets better.

I will update you tomorrow...

As she hides her journal, she hugs Leo tightly and tucks him in. "Goodnight little lion, sweet dreams." she whispers. She moves towards her side of the room and just sits in the darkness as tears slowly stream down her face. She worries and fears what is to come but never talks to anyone, she has been alone most of her life all but her brother to keep her company.

She lays down on her bed and closes her eyes. At that point, the house was filled with silence nothing but the sound of the wind howling in the night. The night passes and she wakes up randomly to find her mum stood as if she was waiting for her in the hallway, "What are you doing up honey? Did you have another nightmare?" She questioned inching closer towards her. Rose kept silent and retreated to her bed.

She couldn't sleep, her nightmares were getting worse. So she just laid awake until it was time to get up...

Her alarm clock chimed, waking Leo and her Dad up. She couldn't bring herself to get up it felt as if the tiredness was a weight on her but as usual she got up got dressed and made breakfast for her and Leo. Her dad came downstairs in a very happy mood but it changed very fast. "Rose what the hell do you think you are doing?!" as he angrily walked over to her slapping her across the face "You know the rules Rose don't break them." he sternly said to her. She had grabbed a knife and had put against his neck after telling her brother to leave the room.

"Don't think you can control me for much longer." as she pressed the knife against his neck more she felt a hand gripping her. It was her mum. Her mum pulled her off him and kicked her. When Rose thought she was safe to leave her dad and mum corner her they beat her up until she was reduced to tears

A few hours later, Rose is felt feeling weak. Her face was full of bruises and cuts. Her ribs broken making it harder to breathe. With every labored breath she took the more she felt like giving up she tried to get up to see to her injuries she noticed Leo who was also full of bruises. As ran to Leo hugging him as tight as she could. She scooped him up and took him upstairs.

She sits him down and gives him some sweets from the jar she had hidden for him. "I love you sis." he quietly mumbled
"I love you too little lion." she replied smiling and on the inside trying not to scream. Her parents go out for the evening leaving them to their own devices. As she makes dinner, Leo asks "sis why do you let mummy and daddy beat you up, it's not ok." That completely stopped her in her tracks. She looked at him and returned to making dinner. "Leo, I only do it because you mean everything to me I care about you so much. You shouldn't be witnessing or going through what I am." she told him softly. Laying down the plates she sat down with him and didn't touch her food looking at the clock she always hated when her parents went out because all the fear and pain rushes back.

She was planning something. Something that could lead them to safety.

She cleaned up and let Leo play with his tablet for a while before she came and told him its time for bed. She lifted him onto her shoulders and carried him to his bed. She heard the door and she rushed to her bed trying to pretend to be asleep. Her parents stayed downstairs but it weren't just them they had more than forty people in the house.

Diary Entry 2: 15th May 2011

Well today has been interesting, well it is just like another day I mean mum and dad do their usual stuff but I seem to annoy them instantly so yeah. But my dad is being all of a sudden nice and saying that he loves me and hugging me he is acting strange. Mum is going out tomorrow and dad is having friends around so yeah might be a little loud tomorrow. Anyway I wonder why Leo asked why I was protecting him I don't get it. He must see that I am hurting to ask that. Got to go to sleep.

Update you tomorrow..

As she lays down on her bed she, hears her dad walk up the stairs and one the door. "Rose I know you are awake, why don't you come downstairs." he said walking back towards the stairs...