Chapter 1: Ed the man

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"God I hate my life". Said a red haired man while surrounded by paparazzi.

He got tired of seeing cameras flashing in his face and people asking to touch his hair. It made him look bad in front of his family and friends. Also this man wasn't a really busy man, in fact he was a popular celebrity.

"My name is Edward Christopher Sheeran, Ed Sheeran for short." The man said to the paparazzi. "I am a very busy man so I don't need all this bloody bullcrap in front of me." Ed was really frustrated. He couldn't even do anything in peace! In fact one time he was at home, on the toilet trying to squeeze a massive poo out of his bumhole while he begged for mercy because he was squatting and pushing for hours. This one man was walking by and as soon as he recognised Ed Sheeran's house, he grabbed his phone and started shouting and screaming in excitement and soon a lot of people were banging on Ed's door trying to get him to come out while Ed was still there screaming like a woman giving birth to a baby when in reality it was just a big poo that wouldn't come out.

"Fun times." Ed Sheeran mumbled to himself. He hated his fans and especially people who hate on him. But Ed just chooses to ignore them and hopes that soon something will get to them back...

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