It was a dark night. Black stars twinkled behind smoky clouds which were crawling across the night sky ever so slowly. When I saw the pale outline of a full moon in the copper sky earlier I wondered, how it would feel like driving in between the rice fields at night. The still water would shimmer at the touch of small insects and the pristine moonlight would reflect off the ripples, painting the night in colors of bright silver. My car would glide over the long road, a cigarette dangling from my right hand would cut the night with a trail of blazing orange light.
But here I was instead, smoking cheap cigarettes at a blistering hot tea shop. I was sweating like a pig. Annoying little flies and noisy people had made this tea-stop their abode. I was to leave the highway and drive inward to reach my home. The broad highway transformed into a small street from here onward and snaked through forgotten villages and lonely farms. I checked my phone, it would take me a couple of more hours in the least before I could even enter my city borders. But on the bright side, no more pesky truck drivers or bright headlights on my rear-view mirror. With a half content sigh I stood up and started walking back to my car.
If nothing else, it would be quiet. And dark.
Soon tall buildings gave way to slender trees that stood over empty grazing lands and ponds that were half dry. When the wind blew I could hear the swaying of invisible leaves that were hiding across the empty fields. Of Course my fantasies were too bright for this dark world but cruising through the realms of this dark night had a unique appeal. I was enjoying myself. But that did not last long.
One gets accustomed to the sound of tires turning on the gravel and the undisturbed comfort of driving over a newly built road. I was jolted away from that state of trance when my car bumped and I heard a creaking sound below my feet. My car was running at the speed of 80 kilometers per hour, and that sound was unmistakable. It was the sound of cracking bones below my front tire.
I had just run over something. Or someone.
I pressed on the brakes and brought my car to a stop at the side of the road. My car's emergency lights throbbed in the dark like my heart. The tail light had bathed the road behind me in different hues of hellish red. At its focus was the carcass of a little puppy lying in the middle of the road.
Light shone rhythmically at the spilled brains of the little animal. I walked closer and crouched down to get a closer look at my sin. It's little paws were still quivering, tail twitching. But there was little I could do after mauling its brain to a thick paste. This was its destiny. With a heavy heart I left the dead in peace.
There was nothing I could do. Even if I pulled my handbrake and stamped the brake pedal with my full might I would have still hit the small puppy. No, there was really nothing I could do there. It did not matter if I saw the puppy running to the middle of the street a split second before it all happened. It did not matter if I could see my headlights shining in his little eyes, his ears rising to an unknown sound in the night.
No, it was all in my mind. Frenzied imagination. But then it happened again. A similar sensation and that same cracking sound under my feet. No fucking way. I stopped my car and stepped out in the darkness in a state of utter terror and increasing suspicion. That same puppy laid in the middle of the road with a mangled head. The emergency light was not keeping pace with my beating heart anymore. I stood transfixed under the blood red mist of my own car. My mouth ajar. I could not break my sight free of the bloody carcass that laid there on the road. Same twitch of those little paws and the tail. The same brains flowing over that dark road which I saw not minutes ago.
Hah! I gave out a strange laugh in the dark night and got back into the car. Just the nerves I guess. I turned the keys and pulled back the gear shaft. I looked over in my rear-view. The darkness deftly collected its dead away from the focus of my taillight. I crouched over the steering wheel and willed my eyes to grow bigger and wider. I scanned the road illuminated in front of me with unwavering concentration. I could now see small rocks that got flicked away by the tires. Small potholes around which I made my way. The dark road moved along with me, there seemed to be no end.
I swear the second time, it felt as if the puppy stared directly at me. It had hobbled to the middle of the street with its stumpy little feet and turned it's head to look at me. It knew. It knew that it's end was near. And it knew I was the deliverer. I swear it knew; that look, I can never forget.
I was driving at a fraction of the speed I was driving before. All manner of insects that got squashed over my windshield before were now getting inside the car. A grasshopper suddenly landed on my hand, surprising me with the cold touch. I flicked it away but just as I did, I realized it had happened again.
Should I just drive on? It surely had to be in my mind, right. It had to be. But my feet did not move. My car could no longer run away from the crime. It slowed down and surrendered to the justice of the night. I was tired. I could see the corpse in my mirror vividly through the darkness.
I slowly walked to the puppy, and knelt down beside it. I bowed my head in deference and asked for forgiveness. I picked it up with my hands and walked down the road to the empty field.
Dark clouds began to clear and small stars emerged from the night sky. Darkness started to dissipate. The pale moon broke free of its shroud and smiled down at me.
