Catholic Boys (BxB) [NOT DDLB]

4

James POV

A week has passed since Ryan came. Him and Brandon are really good friends and have been hanging out a lot. Like, a lot a lot, without me. That sounds selfish, I shouldn't even be thinking about it. They're friends now and I should be happy for them. But I miss Brandon.

"Do you want to go out with Brandon and I tomorrow?" Ryan asked as we ate supper.

"Not really, I don't like going out"

"Why not?"

"I just don't"

"Pllleeeeeaaaassse James" Ryan begged

"I said no Ryan, that's final" I raised my voice getting up from the table.

Ryan looked at me in shock. I grabbed my tray and threw away my trash before leaving the cafeteria.

"Hey, did Ryan talk to you?" Brandon asked seeing me in the hall

"I want to be alone" I pushed him out of the way.

I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling. My hair is wet making my pillow feel sticky and gross. I shut my eyes tight trying to fight the tears that wanted to escape as I heard Brandon and Ryan outside of the door.

"I think he's asleep" I heard Ryan as the door opened.

"Want to just hang in my room so we don't wake him?" Brandon asked Ryan

"Yeah, plus you also don't have a roommate so we can do whatever"

I heard the door close and their feet going distant. I opened my eyes sitting up. I let my tears start falling from my eyes. Why am I jealous? They're happy being friends, they're great friends so why am I not happy?

I got off of my bed and went to my bedside drawer opening it. I grabbed a pen that was in the far back and lifted it. Right under the bottom of the drawer is a hidden drawer. I looked at what was in there. Pictures of my parents and me with them, my first, second, and third birthday. Highschool love letters that my parents sent to each other. And a lot of cd's with one of those personal portable cd players that was my moms. I grabbed the cd player and put in one of the cd's.

I plugged the headphones in and put them on my head. Music started playing in my ears.

"James?"

I looked behind me and saw Ryan. I quickly took off the headphones and wiped my tears.

"Are you okay? Where did you get that?" He asked walking to me.

"I'm fine, I just want to be alone" I mumbled putting the stuff away.

"Is this you and your parents?" Ryan picked up the picture from when I turned 1.

"Give that ba-"

"March 3rd 20- uh, what year is that?"

"It's nothing" I took the picture back.

"March 3rd isn't that far away, a few more weeks right? We should throw you a party"

"No Ryan, we are not doing anything for my birthday, now leave me alone please" I put the drawer back.

"Why not?"

"Aren't you supposed to be with Brandon?" I glared

"Oh right, I came here to grab my cards"

Ryan went to his bedside table and grabbed his cards then left. I curled up into a ball on the floor trying to breathe. I never showed those things to anyone besides my auntie and Brandon. I put my right hand on my scar losing more of my breath. Images started to come to my head. Each scene of that day playing on repeat. The screaming and crying from everyone.

Ryan's POV

"What time is it?" I asked Brandon as I tuned his guitar.

"Oh crap, you have to go back to your room" He panicked

"Can I not just stay here for the night?"

"No, you have to tell Rose before you stay in someone else's room or they'll think you're a run away" Brandon took his guitar back.

"Okay, I just don't think that James really likes me right now" I got up from the bed.

"Why not?"

"I think I looked at stuff that I wasn't supposed to see"

"His drawer?"

I nodded and Brandon sighed

"Come on, I'll take you back to the room"

Brandon and I left his room and went down the halls and down the stairs. There's only a little bit of light so you can see where the bathrooms are. We got to mine and James's room and the light is still on.

"What time did you say it was?" I asked Brandon

"It's almost 12, so I don't understand why the light is on," Brandon said with confusion.

I opened the door and James was on the floor where I left him. He looked up at us and his eyes were red and puffy.

"James, are you okay?" Brandon asked.

James looked around the room then back to us nodding.

"It's midnight, you should get to bed"

"Muffin?" James whispered in a child like voice

Brandon smiled and went over to James. He seems weirdly happy. James curled into Brandon and they held each other.

I closed the door and went over to my dresser grabbing my pajamas. I don't want to interrupt whatever they have going on. I took my shirt off and threw it in the hamper.

"Nakey" I heard James whisper

"That's right, he is" Brandon chuckled

"I am not" I turned to them.

James covered his eyes and hid his face in Brandon's chest.

I picked my shirt back from the hamper and threw it at Brandon who's just laughing.

"Awe, is someone mad?" He fake pouted.

"Shut it or I won't go out with you tomorrow"

As I said that the mood in the room changed. James stopped hugging Brandon and he got in his bed.

"James?" Brandon looked up at him

"Tired" James said in a monotone voice.

"Do you want Muffin?"

"No"

"Okay, goodnight James, night Ryan" Brandon waved with a small smile leaving the room.

"Are you mad at m-"

"I don't want to talk," James interrupted me.

"Got it"

I finished changing and turned the lights off getting into bed.