Killer Whales

uno

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Cold. The pain felt cold. The red energy latching itself onto his body, crawling up his skin, and trying to take control of his mind felt cold. The terrible feeling of something trying to enter his mind and corrupt him with it's blood red color. He felt a sharp chill run up his spine when Lysandere's laugh rang out. He could hear Greninja's pained screeches. He heard Alain's cries of defeat. Alain had given up. He had given up. Ash wasn't about to give up.

He screamed. He screamed because of the pain. Because of the new wave of determination that washed over him. He screamed because he was so close to breaking. He screamed because he was scared. Not scared of death, but scared of being used for evil. He has been used before, yes, but this was literal. He was being controlled. The blue fear he felt bled through the red and overpowered the sickening feeling of mega evolution energy that ran through his veins.

He doesn't remember much of anything after that. There was water and gasps. He felt like he was drowning. Everything sounded muffled and blurry. The commands that flew out of his mouth were made out of pure instinct and the need for survival. His arm flew out in front of him and a blue figure rushed in front of him, attacking the red blur that towered over him. He screamed command after command, desperation tinting his voice with a crack. Finally, the dust and ash settled around the raven haired teen. A shaky breath left his lips, tears pricking his eyes. The tall, orange haired man had jumped off the tower.  It was like slow motion as he reached out his hand, trying to save the man that caused him so much pain. And like that, it was over. He wanted to fall to his knees and sob. It was over.

But it wasn't. There was so much more ahead of him. In Kalos and beyond. He didn't want this responsibility. He didn't want to carry the world on his shoulders. He wanted to live a life. He wanted to live a life without pain, suffering, and death. He wants to be normal. He knows that it's impossible, but that doesn't stop him from dreaming about a day where everything disappears. All his responsibility is gone. His title as 'chosen one' would be stripped away from him and give to someone different. It's selfish, he knows, but he just doesn't care. 
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He hugged Greninja tightly, a bittersweet smile spread across his cheeks. Tears flowed down his face, dripping onto the forest floor. He didn't want to say goodbye. Saying goodbye is scary. He remembers running away, wiping tears from his eyes when he left Charizard. Or a smile, bright, yet pained, plastered on his face as he waved goodbye to Butterfree. Or waving goodbye to Pidgeot as she flew away, a promise that he didn't know of he could keep lingering in the back of his brain. He doesn't like goodbyes, but he makes a lot of them.

He didn't like the goodbye with Serena, Clemont, and Bonnie. Maybe just Serena. She had kissed him. He wasn't oblivious to the feelings that she had for him, he just didn't want acknowledge them. Lots of other people have had feelings for him; its just that most of them did not end in a kiss. He didn't like kisses that weren't purely platonic. He liked the array of kisses his mother showered him with when he left on a new journey, he just didn't like the kisses that clearly were more than a relative kissing him goodbye. Ash didn't know what to say, so he waved goodbye, an uncomfortable feeling drowning him.

He didn't like that kiss. He didn't like Serena in that way. He didn't like anyone in that way. He wasn't like Brock, who could fall head over heels for a pretty girl he had just seen. He didn't understand loving someone in that way. It was strange seeing Brock's eyes practically turning into hearts when he sees a pretty girl. Strange seeing Misty analyze words as if there were secret meanings behind the sentence 'I like you.' It was only after his journey in Sinnoh that he had realized most people do want a romantic relationship in their life. Just... just not him. He told Professor Oak about this when he got home. Professor Oak told Ash about being aromantic and being asexual. He liked those labels and he wore them with pride. But at that moment? He had wished he could feel something. He had wished he could say something. He was silent. He hates goodbyes.
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He was tired when he got home. His mother tried to comfort and help him, but he ignored her. He felt like a jerk, but he was too... too scared to care about how much his mother wants to see him smile. He doesn't want to smile. He wants to sob. He wants to be sad. But thats impossible. Why would the chosen one (you are one of the chosen ones, Ash) be sad? Why would he want to cry? The Chosen one is supposed to brighten everyone's day with his smile alone. (you are one of the chosen ones, Ash.) The Chosen one is supposed to dive headfirst into danger. (you are one of the chosen ones, Ash.) The Chosen— (you are one of the chosen ones, Ash. you are one of the chosen ones, Ash. you are one of the chosen ones, Ash. you are one of the chosen one—)

"Alright! This is is awesome! Right, Pikachu!" The electric mouse gives a energetic "Pikachu!" in agreement. Ash laughs and focuses his attention to the water. "Alright! Full throttle, Sharpedo!" The water pokemon nods and dives deep into the ocean, taking the duo with it.

Ash slowly opens his eyes, a smile spreading on his face. It's peaceful. The sounds are muffled and quiet. Its feels... magical. Luvdisc and Corsola are the first two Pokémon he notices. He looks up, a Milotic swimming above him greets his eyes. He scans the area and sees something new. A blob with pink spikes and eyes. He makes a curious sound and pushes the Sharpedo towards the new Pokémon. He give it a small poke, eyes wide and curious. The white cross on it's face pops out of it's body, turning into a hand making a peace sign. He jerks back in surprise, but quickly recovers and gives the blob his own peace sign, a big grin on his face. He slowly looses his breath, along his Pikachu. He makes a disgruntled sound and Sharpedo swims up. As Ash reaches the surface he shakes the water out of his hair. He opens his eyes and is greeted with a Pokemon, different colors painting it's body. It's sharp teeth seem to be aiming for his face. Ash falls off Sharpedo before he notices a girl with dark blue hair and a fishing rod sitting on a Lapras, the Pokémon in the lure.

He floats to the surface, grabbing onto the fin of Sharpedo. A Pokemon next to the girl starts to laugh and she follows along. He looks up at the girl and her Pokemon and chuckles softly before growing into a loud laugh.

He's having fun. He hopes it lasts.
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He's being watched. He can feel it. He's deep in a forest, the Pokemon he was chasing the last thing on his mind. He doesn't like this. It's scary.

Familiar, in a sense.
________
He's running away now.

Something flies behind him.

He's scared.

He's being watched.

And it's so... familiar.
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end of the chapter :D

aroace ash holds a special place in my heart and its make so much sense. this is a rewrite of a story i wrote called "why are you like this." it's going to be much better than that one cuz ive had some writing practice from writing for other fandoms! the title is from a song called "killer whales/drunk drivers!" i rly like the song :)
also in the orgiinal of this book i wrote ptsd very inaccurately and i apologize for that. i have ptsd and i know how to write it better so it will be much more accurate now. goodbye!