Gorgeous

Chapter 1- The Last Week of Freedom

    Right now I'm laying in bed, music blasting so loud in my earbuds that I'm afraid I'll never be able to hear again. School starts one week from today, my junior year of high school. I'm procrastinating, avoiding the summer work assigned for my advanced and AP classes this year. But because I can tell that this year will be a hectic, stressful mess, I decide to take a little more time to enjoy my last carefree summer and get lost in the music. Tonight's been a more alternative music kind of night, but I really like all kinds of music. Pop, oldies, some rap, indie, rock, even country. Listening to country music reminds me of being a little kid, sitting on the porch on my grandparents' farm, or sitting around a fire roasting marshmallows. A lot of my extended family still lives in Nebraska, where my parents are from. So even though part of me likes living in a little bit bigger city, I still love the comfort of the country and gravel roads. That's been another great part of this summer, spending lots of time with my grandparents and cousins. I also have the best friends in the world, Haven and Sadie. And of course my best friend since fifth grade, Abigail. Even though we go to different schools, I always have the best times with her. I'm basically her personal chauffeur, because even though she has a car, she's too afraid to drive or get her license. But she gets me to do crazy things, like randomly drive far to have a picnic at the beach (eating sandwiches she bought for us at the shop where her ex works), or help me dye my hair red (and then fix it by dying it dark brown over the top). Haven and Sadie don't live as close to me, but we still have fun thrift shopping and going to Starbucks on Fridays. Getting to see them every day again will be the nice part about going back to school next week.
        I pick up my phone, trying to pick a new playlist, when I get a snap from my ex, Tony. I don't even know how to explain my story with him. We dated back in November, I broke up with him in January, kept talking and got closer again in June, but since then he's dated two other girls, both in college. His new girlfriend is apparently a little crazy, according to my friend Diana who's still friends with him. I've never actually met Diana in real life, because she lives in Wyoming right now. I met her through Tony on a video calling app, though. She's moving to Montana when school starts though, and she'll only live about an hour away. I'm not sure if I'll really meet her though, it's a little sketchy to meet up with people you met on the Internet, even if you have been video calling with them pretty consistently for months.
        I open the snap from Tony, and unsurprisingly, it's a picture of the ceiling. I'm so sick of him, I left him on opened. I don't want to outwardly be rude or ignore him, but also don't really want to go out of my way to be involved in his life at all anymore. I haven't really talked to him in weeks, and have no intention to. This year is going to be different, I'm going to focus on bettering myself. Getting good grades for college, being healthy, all that stuff. Last year was so drama filled with friends and boys, and I don't want to deal with that stuff this year.
      So, trying to adjust to an earlier bedtime for this year, I turn off my LED lights and mindlessly turn on a TV series I've seen about a million times on Netflix. I don't really like to get out of my comfort zone and watch new shows, I always get too emotionally invested, and I don't do well if the series doesn't end the way I want it to. I know it's not real, but it bothers me for some reason.
      I try to fall asleep, but my mind is racing. The idea of the new school year starting so soon is really stressing me out. Am I finally gonna live this year? There's so many possibilities. And my hair is down right now. I always wear it down and curled during the day, but it's hard to sleep without it up. So I get up, sit down in front of my full body mirror, and just stare for a second. How am I gonna present myself this year? My hair has been dyed dark brown since the end of April. It was a boring medium blonde my whole life (except for the middle school summers where I would dye the ends pink or purple for a few weeks). My mom always says she misses my blonde hair, but I prefer it darker. I think it looks better with my dark winged out eyeliner and flannel shirts. It would probably look better if I had cool blue or green eyes, but it looks kind of plain with my dark brown ones. I've gotten pretty tan this summer, thanks to going on a few lake trips and days spent in the sun. I hope I can branch out a little on my appearance this year, wear more fashionable clothes, just for myself. It's hard to imagine a confident version of myself as I watch my makeup free reflection tie up her hair in a messy low bun. I hate that I can't ever get the shorter pieces in the front of my air that used to be bangs to fit into my bun.
    I crawl back into bed and turn off the TV.  Now that it's completely dark, I turn on my fan and listen to the soothing white noise. I turn to the other side, close my eyes, and think about summer. Slowly, finally, I drift off to sleep.

Hey guys! Thanks for reading this really small little "chapter". Hope you like it so far! I'll probably update soon with a real chapter, just thought I would get this started.
- MK <3