Tommy sighs, flopping back onto his bed. He's never been this bored in his life.
" Clementine, " He starts, turning towards his daughter. "I am feeling not poggers. We need to do something."
Clementine stares at him.
" Clementine, I think we should do more crime."
She blows a bubble.
He frowns, "What do you mean I'm grounded?"
Clementine stares.
"Yeah, no, I don't know where you heard that. I'm not grounded."
He sits up abruptly, grabbing the bottle and slipping on his trainers. "If I was grounded, would I be able to do this?" He questions.
He opens the bedroom window, cold wind welcoming him. He taps his feet together, activating the wings and leaps out into the open air with a grin.
_____
"Tommy, mate, you wanna watch a movie?" Phil knocks on the teenager's bedroom door.
Silence.
He could be sleeping...
Phil shakes his head. This kid doesn't sleep unless he's coerced.
"Tommy? Mate?"
He knocks once more before opening the door.
Phil sighs.
Time to craft a fucking belt.
_____
Tommy sniffs the air with a sigh of relief. The beautiful smell of nature. And pollution.
" Clementine, this is where I belong. In the world, exploring, surviving, stabbing," He explains to his daughter. "I cannot be contained, Clementine, I am like a raccoon."
Clementine does a flip.
Tommy gasps, eyebrows furrowing. "I do not need a rabies shot."
Teenagers these days have so much attitude.
"Anyways," He gives the fish the stink eye, "I am out here to do what I do best. Be pog," He grins before adding, "And stop crime."
Clementine blinks.
"Do not roll your eyes at me young lady, back in my day, if I even thought of talking back to Tubbo, he would get the stick. Do you want the stick? I can give you the st-"
_____
" Clementine, here, we have found a criminal in their natural habitat," Tommy narrates, settling the sprite bottle down as he pulls his hood up. "Watch, as I swiftly capture them. With epicness."
He leaps down from the building towards the dirty, disgusting person.
"Hey, you there! Bitch!"
The person straightens up from where they are stealing from the vending machine. "Wha-? Dude what?" They raise an eyebrow in confusion.
Playing the naive it seems.
"What are your pronouns?" Tommy demands, arms crossed.
"Uh what?" The person frowns. Tommy glares. They inch away slightly, "Uh, she. I'm yeah, she slash her."
"Okay bitch girl. Confess your crimes," He declares.
"What? What crimes? Dude I'm buying a chocolate bar," She gestures to the vending machine.
"Oh yeah?" Tommy questions, raising an eyebrow. "Where's your money?"
She looks at him in confusion, eyes squinting. "It's-? It's in the vending machine?"
YOU ARE READING
TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death
Fanfiction⚠️ So, uh, this isn't actually my book lol ⚠️ I own absolutely nothing about this book, credits go to the proper author on ao3, eneliii. If you have proof that they're uncomfortable with it, please let me know and I'll take it down immediately :))...
