ashite (bokuakakurotsuki)

(3) a feeling

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thank you for the wait! and sorry about it too⛹️‍♂️💞

personally, i have mixed feelings about this chapter but i hope you enjoy.

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counting calories, counting pills, counting dates, counting urges, counting every single moment that was spent at the dinner table.

counting, counting, counting.

tsukishima's brain ticked with every passing thought, the feel of his own fingertips brushing against his pale skin sent chills throughout his body, carefully bringing them over his ribcage; he felt a tingle of guilt linger in the back of his mind.

truefully, he hated doing this.

but change wasn't gonna happen itself was it?

of course not.

he had to make changes himself.

by himself.

pulling his shirt back down, the collar slightly dropped a bit, loosely hanging around his neck. noticing it, he noted how much progress he had made in the past few months without the others realizing.

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letting out a sharp yet sharky breath, another night was spent in the cold empty bathroom. the door was locked, his reflection stared back at him. the window nearby was slightly opened, allowing the freezing air from outside to slip into the room, brushing against his lanky and now almost bony body.

all three of them were currently sleeping, leaving tsukishima standing alone with shaky hands.

today felt so tiring. worse than usual.

he wasn't sure if it was just him but something felt so wrong.

it was unwelcoming. a pit in his stomach ached with the need to get whatever was in him that made him feel this way immediately out.

the feeling was panic-inducing,

about to take another deep breath, he paused.

silence.

before he could let it out, a rush of nausea waved over him. quickly and out of instinct he ran to the toilet, dropping down to his knees he grasped the bowl tightly.

with the acid burning his throat, his saliva dripped down his chin. disgust overwashed him as he watched his own vomit almost naturally pour out.

about to puke another round something stopped him.

it was behind him.

it was behind the door.

footsteps.

tsukishima knew from right then and there he was beyond screwed. 

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