Now I know it's you [KyouHaba]

Chapter 12

It was around midnight, and Yahaba's eyelids started to drop. He yawned, pushing his mental clock forward, so he could wake up Kyotani a get some sleep too. He listened to the sounds outside, the silence being disturbed only by a few crickets and a stream flowing nearby. Under different circumstances, he'd allow himself to enjoy the peaceful atmosphere. If only there wasn't a murderer running around. It was a shame such a beautiful place was stained by death.

He sighed and focused on the sounds of the night. Then his ears registered a tiny whimper.

Yahaba straightened up and listened, not sure where it came from. For a moment, there was nothing except for the crickets. He was already prepared to write it off as his imagination when it came again. A soft whine, coming from his left.

He carefully crawled to Kyotani's bedroll.

The blond's breathing was shallow and fast, his face was twisted by fear and his hands gripping the fabric of the bedroll so firmly his knuckles turned white. Yahaba touched his forehead, worried the other might be sick. But his temperature was normal, and he didn't seem to be in pain.

Nightmare then.

He'd never seen Kyotani having a nightmare before. In fact, given the other's ability to sleep without any disturbance throughout his half of the night, he thought Kyotani wasn't having nightmares at all.

He grabbed Kyotani's shoulder and shook him gently, trying to wake him up.

Kyotani whimpered again, this time a bit louder.

"I'm sorry ... didn't want to ... I swear..."

He shook with him harder, his heart dropping at the broken sound of the other's voice.

"Wake up. It's just a dream."

Kyotani curled into a ball, digging his nails into his forearm, muttering louder and louder:

"Make it stop...make it stop...make it stop!"

"Kyotani!"

The raised voice finally did the thing. Kyotani sprung up, immediately launching himself on his alleged assailant, pinning Yahaba under him.

Yahaba's breath hitched, and he felt his heart beating all the way up in his throat. He'd never thought the other could scare him, but seeing Kyotani's wild eyes and bared teeth and feeling the iron grip on his arms, he was terrified.

"It's fine, it's just me, no danger," he stammered, his voice shaking.

Yahaba saw a flash of recognition in Kyotani's eyes, and then all the pressure holding him down disappeared as the other let go and staggered backwards, crawling away from him.

"S-sorry, I didn't ... did I hurt you? I-it was reflex, I don't ... sorry."

Yahaba slowly sat up, taking a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart.

"It's all right, I'm fine," he smiled softly, even though he was sure he will have a nice pair of hand-shaped bruises on his biceps for a few days.

He wasn't sure how to proceed as Kyotani still looked like he was going to have a panic attack any moment. So he sat on his heels, mumbling quiet reassurances until he saw Kyotani's breath even.

"Are you ok?" he asked, carefully inching towards him.

Kyotani rubbed his face and nodded, his body visibly more relaxed than before.

"Yeah. Sorry about that."

"Don't be. It's not your fault. I was just worried. I thought it would be better to wake you up, though, I guess it wasn't the best idea." He let out a shaky laugh.

Kyotani gave him a worried look.

"Are you hurt? I swear, I didn't want to-"

Without thinking, Yahaba cupped his face, silencing the other's next words.

"I'm fine, I promise."

Kyotani froze. Yahaba didn't understand why until he realized what he just did. His eyes widened. They were so close he could feel Kyotani's breath ghosting over his lips. He never wanted to run away and close the distance at the same time so much in his entire life.

They stayed like that for what felt like an hour before Yahaba dropped his hands and backed away a bit, clearing his throat.

"So, eh ... want to talk about it? The nightmare, I mean."

"Not really, it's ... I just remembered something, and it all came back at once, and I don't ... I just want to forget about everything from then."

Yahaba gave him a small sympathetical smile.

"That bad, huh? It's ok, you don't have to tell me. Just ... remember that no matter what happened, you are part of the Castle now. We are still here, and you can always talk to us when you need to."

"I know."

Yahaba nodded, more to himself than Kyotani and wanted to go back to his place by the wall when fingers closed around his wrist. The other's voice was just barely above a whisper.

"Do you ... do you think it will get better if I talk about it?"

Yahaba sat back slowly, worried that faster movement or louder sound could shatter the fragile atmosphere around them.

"I don't know. Maybe. Depends on the person, I guess. It won't go away instantly, that's for sure, but ... it might help when you don't bottle it up inside anymore."

Kyotani took a few deep breaths, subconsciously caressing Yahaba's wrist with his thumb.

"You asked why I don't use Manipulation. When ... when I first discovered I can do ... stuff with fire, it was awesome. But I had no idea how to control it. I was the first one in the family with a talent, so there was no one to tell me, what to do with it. So I just ... went along with it, setting sticks and candles on fire just for fun. B-but one day I got angry about something, I don't even remember what it was, and everything ... exploded. I just remember standing in front of the house and watching everything we had going up in flames. My sister almost died that day. She got burned so badly she lost her arm and probably will live with scars for the rest of her life." He took a shuddered breath. "I heard them talking about me. Saying I am an abomination that only destroys and that I'll kill someone one day. That I shouldn't be alive. So I ran away."

A heavy silence settled around them. Yahaba was shocked. He didn't expect Kyotani to open up this much, and he had to fight the urge to hug the man in front of him.

"I'm so sorry I brought that up," he whispered, mentally slapping himself for being nosy. "I didn't ... I had no idea. I didn't want you to live through it again."

Kyotani smiled sadly, squeezing Yahaba's hand.

"You couldn't know. And you said it. I have Castle now, no matter how annoying it gets sometimes. So, I'm good, I guess. I just ... don't want it to happen again. I'm not sure how I could live with the fact you got hurt because of me."

Yahaba hoped it was too dark for the other to see his red face, which reddened even more when he realized Kyotani could feel his fast-beating heart through the skin on his wrist. And yet, he didn't want to pull away.

"Thank you for trusting me with this," he managed to say after a while, reluctantly freeing his hand from Kyotani's grasp.

Kyotani gave him one of his rare genuine smiles.

"Thanks for listening."

"Will you be able to sleep further?"

Kyotani shook his head and positioned himself to the wall.

"I don't think so. Go get some sleep, I'll take the rest of the night."

Yahaba swaddled into his bedroll, confused but somehow more at peace than he had been since their talk in the Castle.

Maybe there is a chance after all.