Stay

Following a New Sunrise

I went inside the apartment and broke down crying. My heart ached out of frustration and split feelings. Eunji rushed out of her room to come and check on me. She held me until I was able to calm down and explain what had happened. After I was done, she patted my back and said I did the right thing. It wasn't fair for either of us. She helped me up and I went to wash up as she prepared tea for me to calm down. We were sitting on the couch drinking tea when my phone suddenly rang. My heart jumped wondering who it could be. When I picked it up, I saw it was Dr. Baek. I excused myself and went to talk to her in Eunji's room. Even though I told her what had happened, I wanted a quiet setting to try and maintain my composure.

Dr. Baek: "I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier, what's wrong Enni?"

Me: "Dr. Baek..."

I took a deep breath and explained everything that had happened, what I felt, what I was thinking, and how Chan had responded. She listened quietly, only interrupting when she needed clarification since I was talking hurriedly. She paused for a moment, I guessed because she wanted to make sure I had finished speaking.

Dr. Baek: "Enni... You did well in talking to him about Hoseok and your confusion. It's showing that you are clearly thinking things thoroughly and cautiously and that you are trying to be sincere. I do think it's best to spend some time apart and gather yourself. You're going on vacation, right? Use that time to really relax and have fun. Don't think about Hoseok or Chan even if it's hard. Focus on having fun with Eunji and try new things. You've been living so cautiously and there aren't many things that you have experienced. You're still young so have an adventure. Clear your mind of everything that has stressed you out or hurt you. You'll need a clear mind to find objectivity. Over-thinking only hurts you, do you understand?"

Me: "Yes, I understand. I'll do my best to not over-think."

Dr. Baek: "I'll send you an email with a new appointment for when you come back, is that alright? I want to know how it went."

Me: "Yes, of course. Thank you."

We hung up and I went to tell Eunji to help me during our break.

Eunji: "Of course! We're going to put your phone on airplane mode! If it's an emergency, they can call me instead."

I smiled and nodded as she smiled back. We said goodnight and Eunji went into her room while I got comfortable on the couch. A few days went by and we were getting ready to start our 3-day vacation. We had closed the boutique early Thursday night to have time to pack and arrive at the hotel to have the full 3 days of vacation. Eunji had rented a car that I had to drive since she said she wanted to be the DJ. I knew that she was still afraid of driving even though we had practiced together with Hoseok and went with her to take the exam. It was a dilemma for me as well but I wanted to sacrifice myself for her at least once. It was a night drive and I told myself to focus on Eunji and the music. I took several deep breaths when she wasn't paying attention. We finally got everything in the car and drove off to the hotel to check in. We got there safely and made ourselves comfortable in the room. Eunji had booked a nice room with a balcony and a view of the ocean. We settled in bed and set an alarm for tomorrow morning as Eunji had made a list of places and things she wanted to try. I had some trouble sleeping and I thought Eunji had already fallen asleep but she got up and climbed into my bed and started patting my back. I tried to get her to stop but she insisted. It actually helped and I felt myself falling asleep. I suddenly jolted awake and saw that it was 3 AM. ~Weird... It's been a while since this has happened...~ I turned around and tried to go back to sleep but it was too difficult. My mind kept trying to wander, so I took my phone off airplane mode and was immediately greeted by a text message. I opened it without really paying attention to the number.