Something Within. (ERERI) (Fanfiction yaoi)

I Want to be Yours. Ch. 14

Levi's POV

I've never cried before really, time to time, I have, but to cry like I truly wanted to curl up and sob my life away, Never before, I didn't cry, I wasn't suppose to cry, then why, why was I crying?

Why did he cheat me like this, that night seemed so... Why did he lie to me, why did he forget?

I let out another uneven sob as my mind twisted around and around in circles, flashes of the unspoken time in my house the other night flickered by,

My heart raced faster as I closed my eyes, the dark movements of his body came over my eyes, my heart was sore and hurt, my body ached.. For him.

I just want to be his.

I remember it started to Rain, I stared out the window as the Rain poured so thick, it looked like fog, I don't remember going outside, I don't remember when, but when Hanjii turned up she looked worried sick and started to exclaim why I was soaking wet, her words where just mumbled messes of speech.

"What the... What on Earth has gotten into Levi?"

My eyes where still red and sore, and she probably realised why, she was not that much of an idiot, she cared about me, and thats at least something good in my life right now, and she was worried, who wouldn't be for a usual emotionless man who has been crying.

I looked down at the ground, avoiding eye contact with Her. I felt the tension relax slightly, then her soft voice whispered through my endless thoughts -

"Eren?"

"Yeah."

I continued to tell her what happened, God knows why, The want to vent started to rip out of me, and she has a way of pulling the answers out of you.

I tried to explain things that didn't even make sense to myself, but she seemed to understand, or pretended too, when I told her what he did, her eyes flicked of the wickedness of a fangirl, but she remained straight face, to keep me calm, but I knew, so I tried to avoid, 'details'

Finally she broke my mumbling talk, that have lost meaning and I just continued to gabble on things about him.

"Your acting like you've already lost him" as she spoke, a lump rose in my throat as I stared at her curiously.

All she did was grin at me,

And there, A small hope started grow and infect my mind, I was acting like I've already lost him, I did think he was gone, I was treating it like I was dead to him, he never said any of that, he- he just forgot, suddenly, the hope of him being in my arms again, was, a possibility.

My lips edged onto a smile... but I swallowed it.

I couldn't sleep that night, of course I couldn't, whenever I would think about it my heart would pound so loudly in my chest, welled up by that excited hopeful infection of Love. I ended up wandering around the house for most of the night, in the hope maybe a mysterious boy would knock on my door, like the time he did, the still unanswered reason for him to coming to my door that night, and the unanswered reason why it was my door...

I started to think wildly, how his eyes where different, the way he talked and acted, the was he, felt, even the way he smelt...

Was it some kind of sleep walk?

No, well, who would try to get it on while 'sleep walking,' if so, thats some extreme case of sleep walking...

Maybe he was really drunk?

It could be true, some people do weird shit when there drunk. Or-

My mind floated around the ideas, around the conclusions and possibilities.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought about what I was going to do tomorrow...

The night ticked away, as my mind ate away at itself, and I started to get more and more eager- I wanted to see the kid so badly- and nothing was going to get in my way.

Erens POV.

Well I was about as dumbfounded as I've ever found myself, I was thinking of not going to school today, but after rolling back and forth aggressively for about 40,000 times, I somehow found myself walking to school, and yet again, like the other night, my sleeping habits ended up with my arms raw from scratching my arms in my sleep, I still havn't changed my sheets from the other night, with mud and dirt in my sheets, Don't know how it got there... Of course.

My mind was still repeating the events yesterday like a broken record, the way he... Did that, and what he said, about forgetting, I was so confused... What was I missing, I know I have a bad case of forgetting things, but this was bad, there was something was on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't understand it.

When he, k- did the thing, images and sensation flashed through my mind, the time from the bathroom and at his house, but there was, more, more there, but I can't see what. And why is my heart beating so fast, why did I want to know more of those sensations I experienced, why do I feel... So curious, to know more...
With each step nervous jolts electrified my heart, my pace became faster, as the building came into sight, I was usually a fast walker, but by now, I was fucking flying.

The school building stood tall, and felt like it was hovering over me, like a threat. The kids where pouring in, not looking at the tall intimidating building, always there heads down, like I did as well, keeping my focus on the ground, not wanting to be noticed.
The bell was ringing throughout the area, and even though how much I just wanted to ditch class, because I found myself here for some stupid reason in the first place, for some fucked up reason, I found myself in class.
To see Levi? He probably didn't turn up anyway, I mean, I guess why would he? The way he left yesterday.

"What was up with Levi yesterday?" Armins voiced peeped from my right, he was a little late to class and I didn't notice him come in..
"I-I don't know... Why?"
"He left the school quite upset after he talked to you, I mean, its quite disturbing when you see a man like that start to get teary"
"Teary?"
"Yeah, he looked quite distraught"
I turned my head back to the babbling bobble head woman in front of the class, deciding to avoid further questioning, and the topic.
But, H-He was crying...? I couldn't help but feel this was all my fault, Well, of course it was... It was my fault. But I didn't know why.

Time went on painfully slow, My mind ticked on slowly, The teacher went on about Flowers, talking about there use within chemistry and such,
"... Nightshade, or Solanaceae, A highly toxic flower, but has a delicate light fragrance"
Levi was a a toxic person, addictive and harmful, but on the inside a delicate flower...
...I shook my head furiously, from shock of my own thought, I'm getting the wrong idea about everything, I felt so confused, so scared, First he ... assaulted, me in the bathroom, on top of that not only did he bully me almost everyday, the constant harassment,
but then, when I got angry in the car park, I went to him, when typically I despised him, then he took me in his arms, drove me to his house, and cared for me until I woke, and... Yeah... Levi was a bully, a emtionless 'don't give a shit' guy, But I guess there was maybe... something within.
But maybe I'm just talking stupid.
I still hated him, yeah, I hated him.

I found myself scratching at my skin again, making it raw and red, almost the small amounts of blood rising to the irritated surface, when the usual glorious sound of the bell rang, but at the sound my stomach dropped, like a ten pound brick, I had to admit, I was scared.
I slowly gathered my books, waiting for everyone else to leave to avoid the crowd of people shoving threw the door, and my teacher giving me a small remark "-No day dreaming, ok?"
I decided to go find a place to hide, hide away and just enjoy some silence, try and find a place to avoid everyone, avoid him.
But he's probably not here anyway...
So it shouldn't be too hard.

"...Hey, Brat."