SaiRat- One shot

What Sai feels?

So mistakenly I watched today's episode. Was quite disturbed and disappointed by the same. I think all of us are. Just wrote this OS. It's just my version of how Sai might have felt at the moment.

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Today Virat Sir said he is broking all ties with me.

He was the one who said not to expect anything from this marriage. Even on our first night he was clearing it to Pakhi didi. He accepted his love for her in front of me, called her 'pyari chez'.
How many times he stopped me from answering back to Pakhi didi. But he hardly stop her from insulting me.
He never stopped her from coming to our no his room at any hour of night.

How many times I have asked him to clear the things but what he did? He stayed silent.

What did he want to me to do? Understand his silence? His unspoken words?
When he was outspoken  about saying all those things. He was loud and clear with his words before our marriage. Then why can't he clear things now?

Today when I asked him to choose between me and Pakhi didi. He chose to break all the ties with me. What does that mean?

Aai, Mohit bhaiya said he feels for me.
How am I supposed to believe that? His gestures and words are poles apart. 

Though he said he is not fulfilling any commitment right now. Is it just because he is married to me?

What do they expect me to believe?

He said now he will show me the face that I never imagined?

I forgave him when he forcefully held my hand threaten me to lock me in  room. Even after he threw me and Usha Maushi at the middle of the night. Even when he raised questions at my character. I forgave him whole heartedly.

But he again tried to forcefully held my arm in his anger.

Are all men like that? do they hurt person in front of them when angry?
My Aaba never did that.  Never. . .

I don't want to live in that house now.
I wish Aaba was alive. I don't want to go back.

I DON'T. . .

My throat is aching. I can't bear all this now.  Can someone take me away from all this?

My heart is aching now. .
When he himself said not to keep any expectations I accepted then why he is playing with my emotions now?

He don't even clear anything. Never says anything clearly. Fine I am immature let me accept it yes I am . . . I can't understand the silence . . . if he can loudly declare not to expect anything from him and he already have someone in his heart then why can't he clearly say  whether he still loves Pakhi didi or not. . .

I don't want to hear anything now I am done with him . . . done with every thing related to him

He said not to interfere in his life or his family. Yes his family! Once again he made me feel orphan I have no place to call my home. No one to call my family. Aaba why did you left me? Please come back. Please. . .Or please take me with you.

The hardest part of being broken is moving on with your life. Though I am miserable inside. The excruciating pain will be a torture for each and every passing day. It's hard to live like normal self again,  No soothing words compensate the pains I am feeling each moment. It's is a constant reminder that he can never be mine.

Till now, I am trying to fight this sorrow deep in me. I hope that I can keep myself strong. It is heart wrenching even my tears don't burst out now.

Tell me why do things change when they were perfect from the start?

Why do we have to lose everything that we have always been holding onto?

He said whatever I have done for his family till now was enough.I don't need to do anything. He says I don't consider his family as mine. He is the ome who keeps reminding me every now and then.

He bought me back for this day? He requested me to stay just to hurt me again?

I should not leave right now  as  we have to take Sam dada home. But I can't stay . . . It's killing me from inside now.
I will leave  this time without announcing it to him. I know if I do that he will again do something to make me stay.
But now I don't want to. . . I will just leave saliently.

Will be leaving a letter to him

Virat Sir,

I am going away. You want me not to interfere in your life so I am doing that. I asked you numerous times to clear things but you always stayed silent.
I asked you when Pakhi didi torn those tickets you stayed silent.
I asked you after Harini's birthday- you stayed silent
I asked you in front of whole family but you proved me wrong
Even today you said didn't said anything
You keep repeating 'jaisa tum samajh rahi ho waisa kuch nahi hai'
toh kaisa hai Virat Sir?
Whenever I ask that you just back off.

You forcefully held my arm again. Your anger can't justify your action each time.

Now that you have broken all the non existing ties yourself. Why  should I stay? To get insulted yet again?

No, I can't go through all this again and again so I am leaving . . .

I won't be coming back to take my things. You don't have to do anything I will ask Aai for that.

You don't have to tell anything to anyone I have already left letter for everyone.

Please take Sam dada home. No need to waste your time in finding me. Even you did I won't be going back this time.

Thank you for being entirely patient amd incredibly good

Thank you for doing so much for me.

I am sorry if ever you felt hurt because of me. Let me say this the way you said 'Bhul chuk maaf'

At the end I wish you get all the happiness and success. May you get whatever you ever wished. 

Hope we will never meet again.

Your Immature Sai.

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Thank you for Reading🙏

You are free to disagree. . . I just wrote what Sai might have felt at the moment. . .

Do share your views. You are free to criticise as well.