Should I be grateful...?

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Dr. Irwin's POV
I entered the room at the instant I heard the cry. This was my second week in my job and I really didn't know what to do when I saw a girl lying unconcious with blade marks everywhere on her body. She actually looked quite pretty. I slowly leaned towards her. I felt her heart, and a relief of joy flooded into me as I became aware that it was beating, she was alive! I gently lifted her head to see her beautiful ombre hair sailing down her shoulders in waves. I picked her up as lightly as I could, trying not to awaken her from her sleep. I lay her into her bed and stroked her hair. She looked so perfect lying there,

just like Sleeping Beauty, but just a lot more prettier. I didn't know how she was so attractive, even when she was in an unconcious state...Wait. I forgot. That girl was unconcious, and she needed medical help. I didn't come over here to fall in love with someone whom I've never met in my life. "Ashton, don't be weird, how would you fall irresistably in love with a girl you found lying on the hospital floor?" I came back to my senses and adjusted a new needle and gently poked it into her arm. I gingerly lay her blanket over her, carefully, knowing I should treat her like my angel with vulnerable feelings... I looked at her cuts long enough for tears to well up in my eyes. "I would do anything for those to dissapear, love" From this point I was filling with fury... Who made her do this? I hope she had somehow knew she was loved by some people...What pushed her to the though of harming her angel self? Tears trickled down as I remembered my sister's suicide which happened right in front of me, she had shot the bullet through her head, and I arrived a few minutes too late, only to see her body falling off the cliff, emotionless, and...lifeless.
and then,

she was gone

lifeless

and yet I never knew what wasn't enough for her.
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Heeyy When this part gets 3 reads I'm gonna continue from the part when I left it as a cliffhanger ;)
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My message to y'all out there thinking of self-harming, suicide or anything like that, you can talk to me via kik (@/itzzayse)
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please remember!
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i know that things are hard, the stress is so much. i'm honest, i've experianced some things too, but I learnt you should be strong
and when you reach out for help, all there are, are stabbing daggers! You try to run away from backstabbing people, you try to escape all the pain! And live your life without being a made up gossip tool for people to think of you as a toy, that they think they can pick you up when they need you, and throw you into the garbage when they hate you, but you're no shitty toy, you're human!
and some people you know are the cause for the ones on your wrist. the reason why you cry, make a ball of your fists.
i understand that you have a lie you go through.
The fact that some people you know tell lies about you and you feel like you're unloved
and no one gets you, the plastered on fake smile.
the real one has been gone now for quite a while.
So your arms bleed, but the blood tells you you're living.
It takes a way the numb feeling these people were giving.
That razor blade has become your closest companion.
It relieves all the pain you want to abandon.
Your arms are scared so you think you're unlovable.
But honestly I just want you to feel comfortable.
I promise you you're loved.
Right now I see that you're stuck in a rut.
And if you feel the need to say you're all out of luck.
I'm just a call away when things get rough.
The fact of the matter is I know you're enough.
Put the blade down, it really isn't worth it.
No good will come from a slit up and bruised wrist.
And you cover it, long sleeves so they won't see.
But you can't hide all the hurt and pain from me.
You say you're miserable and there are times you want to die.
But then you pull out a razor and cut while you cry.
It makes you feel human, and like you are still alive.
But don't you understand that the feeling is all a lie.
You put your self in danger when you're slicing up your skin.
You're only letting self-hate find it's way in.
I promise you'll get better, you just need somebody to talk to
And please throw the razor and pins all away.
I swear that you'll make it, there's no doubt in my mind.
And if you look around, I know it's what you find.
You're gonna feel better once this door has been shut.
They label you, but not a single word is true.
Who cares what the world is saying about you ?
They don't know, they just assume.
They're not with you when you're lonely up in your room.
They not with you when you're begging to up above.
They're not with you when you need a little love.
They don't care when you have nothing to give.
So who's to say than you even would want to live ?
Every life is precious, and that is what I promise.
I hope you know I'm honest!!!
You deserve to be happy, and clean from the cutting.
You deserve to be a person who's surrounded with the loving you give out!
...so PLEASE, dont cut!.
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~you are understood and loved, and i'm just a call away if things get rough...Being strong is learnt in time! You need to fight to find your way!
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ILYSM <333

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