In Between // phan

Seventeen

"Why am I'm awake?" Dan grumbled, climbing into the car grumpily. It was eight o'clock in the morning, and Phil had shaken him awake nearly an hour ago, claiming they had to go somewhere today. He hadn't even bothered with his hair.

"Because we have a job to do." Phil replied, settling into the drivers side. Dan had demanded he drive this time. "And it's no good staying in bed till two in the afternoon anyway, unhealthy, it is."

Dan mumbled under his breath but didn't respond, choosing instead to curl up as best as he could into the seat. Phil shook his head and started the car.

Since it was the weekend, this was probably a good time to go out and start working on the job they were assigned. Phil was nervous. He hadn't seen his dad in almost eleven years, and now it was his job to decide whether he should die or not. From what Dan had explained to him, he wasn't actually allowed to have direct contact with his dad, because it went against some Reaper rules he didn't completely understand. He had no problem with that, he didn't know how he'd react.

His dad apparently worked at a local university, which was kind of a surprise. The last time Phil had seen him, he could barely get out of bed by himself. But Phil was glad that he had gotten better, he didn't like thinking of his dad that way.

Dan had fallen asleep again as they drove, and Phil decided not to wake him up when they arrived. They had a good hour left of waiting anyway, and Phil felt like Dan needed more sleep these days. He was always stressing out about one thing or another. Phil leaned back against the seat, sighing heavily.

He'd been putting up a front for too long, he was tired. These stupid visions were getting to him in the worst way possible. He didn't know how long he'd be able to keep it to himself, it was wearing him down, and he hated lying about it.

Phil looked out of his window, staring at the few students that were milling around the grounds, some smoking cautiously behind some trees. Some were the same age as him and Dan. What would it have been like, if he'd never gone on to be a Reaper? Would he be in college as well? Wasting away in a classroom for four years and then finding some deadbeat job to spend the rest of his life at?

Dan shifted beside him, and Phil glanced over at him. His hair was falling into his face, and Phil reached out, brushing it aside gently. He trailed his fingers over Dan's face, tracing his cheekbones and the curve of his lips softly. Dan sighed in his sleep, and Phil smiled. He was glad he hadn't ended up normal.

He waited for another twenty minutes, thinking about nothing in particular, before he decided it was best to go ahead and wake up Dan. His dad would probably be showing up soon.

"What time is it?" Dan asked with a yawn, running his fingers through his hair.

"Ten to nine." Phil answered, leaning his head on his hand. He stared at Dan for a second, at the way his hair was sticking up all over the place and eyes were still half shut. "Are you okay, Dan?" He asked suddenly, and Dan looked over at him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He answered. Phil shrugged.

"You just seem tired."

Dan smiled reassuringly, and patted Phil's head gently, carding his fingers through his hair. "I'm fine, really." Phil stared at him a bit longer before nodding. "Are you ready?"

Phil sighed. "As I'll ever be." They both opened their doors, stepping out and heading closer to the building. They would wait outside until his dad showed up, not close enough so that they would be noticed, but enough to observe him.

"What's the point of this anyway?" Phil asked, as they climbed up onto an elevated slab of rock and sat down together. "Spying on a subject. Shouldn't you already know... what you're gonna do to them?"

"Well, this is an extended job." Dan explained. "They're usually reserved for new Reapers, like you. Higher ranked Reapers have more experience in deciding a subjects fate quickly, but newbies generally need more practice. So they're sent on these 'stake out' ordeals. In most instances, a subject may do something that could tilt the scale drastically. Like, they could have mostly done bad things in their life, and be judged negatively, but may, I don't know... save someone's life. That's a big difference."

Phil crossed his arms over his knees and stared at the doors of the school blandly. "So if they do something like that, they might live?"

"Yep." Dan said. "It's actually happened quite a lot. Back then, they never had this system, but then a lot of people started dying, and they had to fix it."

Phil nodded. "And what about me?" He asked.

"What about you?"

"Before all this, you said I was an In Between. That I'd done equal amounts of good and bad." Phil paused, staring down at his lap. "What bad things had I done?"

Dan didn't say anything, and Phil looked up to seem him staring at him weirdly. "Why would you want to know something like that?" He asked and Phil shrugged.

"Wouldn't you?"

Dan looked out across the grounds. "I don't remember." he said. "It was a long time ago. I could... I could ask the Highers, if you wanted."

Phil thought about it for a moment, but shook his head. He didn't think it was worth all the trouble for something that didn't matter to him now. "It's fine." He said. "Just a bit curious."

Dan reached out and twined their fingers together. "I think that's him." He said, and Phil glanced up as well.

His dad. He was a lot older now, of course, but Phil still recognized him. He had deep lined etched into his face and stubble littering his chin, but it fit him sort of. The last time Phil had seen him, he looked lost and hopeless, but this version of his dad was a lot healthier looking. He had on a suit and everything.

His dad walked down the front steps of the school, across the grounds and down the street to
one of the few shops that were there. "Do we... do we follow him?" Phil asked, swallowing the lump in his throat. He didn't think he'd get emotional during this job. He was sure he'd built up some resilience, but seeing his dad right now got to him. He was happy that his dad was better, but there was something inside of him that shriveled up at the fact that he was doing better without him.

"No." Dan said. "It'd be awkward if we got caught following him around everywhere. We just need to make a few observations here and there."

"Can we go home, then?" Phil asked, not hiding the catch in his voice. He could feel Dan staring at him, feel the concern in his eyes.

"Of course." Dan said, jumping off of their perch and helping Phil down as well. They walked back to the car, and Phil kept his gaze on the ground. He climbed into the passengers seat, and Dan didn't question it, just started the car and drove off.

Phil stared out the window the whole time, ignoring Dan's attempts at conversation. He'd been fine this morning, tired, but okay. And now he just wanted to curl up by himself and stare at nothing. Seeing his dad had brought back some unsettling memories, that he hadn't completely forgotten but were dulled enough by time and suppression. They were in full clarity now, weighing down on him heavily. He didn't care if he was worrying Dan anymore, or if would affect this job. He wanted to be alone for as long as he could.