Chapter Thirty Eight

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I can't quite believe that this is happening

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I can't quite believe that this is happening.

My lips are on Grayson's again, after all this time. I'm tasting him, I'm feeling him, I have him again after so, so long. If my hands weren't gripped so tightly around his brimming neck, then I wouldn't have believed it myself.

But I can really feel him. He's really here and he's kissing me. After dreaming about it for so long, I can't believe that it's finally real.

Our lips breaking, fireworks still cracking in the sky, we look to each other, our eyes silently exchanging emotions that words couldn't say.

My fingers stroke Grayson's stubble, the other running across his plump lips. I've missed him so goddamn much, and I never want to let him go again.

"Fuck," Grayson breathes. His eyes drop to the ground, his eyes red from his earlier tears. He licks his lips, his inner frustration eating away at him.

"Grayson," I lift his chin with my fingers, begging him to look at me. "Grayson. What's wrong?"

His mouth pushes flat, before he exhales. "You don't know how hard this is Mia. I've missed you so, so much. And I love you so, so much. But we can't be together."

I shake my head. "You know we can. You can't ignore what's real, and what's good. We can make this work Grayson."

"How Mia? Every second that you're with me, is every second that I put you in danger."

My eyes pool again, but I beg them to stop. I'm so done with crying. "Grayson. You can't ignore what we have, what you felt when you kissed me just then."

"I shouldn't have."

"But you did!"

     "Yeah I did! Because I can't fucking resist you! I love you too damn much and I can't fight it anymore!"

In a moment where I shouldn't naturally feel happy, I do. Those are the words I've wanted to hear; because I've felt the exact same.

My hands clasp Grayson's warm cheeks, holding them in place and making him look to me. "Don't fight it then," I purr. "Don't fight it. Just live in the moment."

His shoulders fall, and in one last moment of weakness his lips find mine again, the warmth of his tongue mixing with mine.

It's intoxicating.

     "I don't want to hurt you Mia," Grayson says as he pulls back, his forehead supported by mine.

     "You won't."

His eyes close, and for once he gives up the battle inside of him. He's overthinking this. I know it's all crazy—what he does and all—but theres no reason why we can't work through it, why we can't reach the outcome we both so desperately want.

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