afraid (zalex )

The Dempsey pride

The name Dempsey means pride and well Zach indulged in the powerful name. But lately, he hasn't felt the same, life weighed on the guy's shoulders. This last year has Changed Zach, a once happy-go-lucky guy with a love for adventure replaced with a depressed, sexuality-confused guy who pretends to be a slightly narcissistic jock. if only his dad was here to guide him as to what to do. George was always good at that stuff.

                          ~Justins Coming home party~

Zach drove up and stumbled through the door "welcome home !" Alex, Charlie, jess, clay, Tyler, and tony cheered."Ahhh Im home, ay ahh " he cheered dancing with finger guns"No I'm kidding . Its for Justin, I know," he said smiling  "you're late," jess said annoyed "I know," he said waiting for the lecture "and are you drunk," she said looking at him he inhaled "I , uh " he put his hand on her shoulder "I might have pregamed, Yes. " he said walking to where everyone was a few feet away "oh my god " she followed him "what the fuck is wrong with you " she looked back up at him "this is a dry party for a sober person " it was simple it was because of Alex andcharlie but nobody else knew that .he just shrugged her off " hey, get some mouthwash or something, come on." she said trying to steer him to the bathroom but he looked on the table "oo!cookies," he said and leaned over  to grab one "chili powder! secret ingredient, "charlie said and as annoyed as he was zach held himself together and took a bite "oh, so fucking good "he walked over to where alex and charlie wereand the door opened and revealed Clay and justins mom with Justin "were here !" lainey said with Justin behind her and everyone clapped "yea!"zach yelled .

The party was painful. All he wanted was to pull Alex in and kiss him but he couldn't. No no these are just drunk thoughts "so I say fuck it, just let it play out "he said sprawled on the couch he was starting to sober up but was hoping it will last longer. he tuned out the rest of the conversation. 

"Is it true he took on, like, a dozen guys ?" Alex asked as they walked out of school "he was just pissed off" Zach said and Alex turned to him "he must have been mental" the blue-eyed boy said and Zach glance at him "yea well we're all dealing with our own shit." Zach said with a slight sigh on the last word. Zach waved and smiled at a girl walking by "are you dealing with it ? 'cause".. Alex said but the girl said "hey as she walked by . "you seem, like, not the slightest bit bothered by anything "Alex said. shit I hope he hasn't realized . no no it's okay just breathe  "well, isn't that how we're supposed to be acting? normal?" he said taking out his keys," you said we should be the kind of friends that tell each other stuff," Alex said stopping and turning to Zach "well" Zach turned to face Alex "there's nothing to tell ya ." he said blinking at the sun rays hitting his eyes and sighed "look... its either bullshit from the football team, or somebody might actually know something. Either way " he turned walking towards the driver's side "we can't do anything about it, right? so what does it matter ? "he said fumbling to find the right key " it matters to me," Alex said and he looked up at him and just nodded a bit yea right. and with that, he got in the car looking at Alex and leaned over opening the door "let's go!" he said impatiently "so something, "he said and sat back up clutching the steering wheel, starting the car and revving the engine as Alex looked at him.

The two tip-toed along the ledge of a building "you have to let go of the shit you can't control" he said with his hands in his pockets as Alex followed behind holding his arms out for balance "or it will kill you, you have to make yourself forget " he said removing his hands from the pocket in his jeans and held them out for balance leaning his head back feeling the air, brush through his hair ." am I helping you to forget?" he asked tottering a little "yes " Alex said, his voice as shaky as his tottering body"good " Zach said holding out the word a little and jumped back to the building. Alex slipped and lost his balance "oh! " he said and Zach rushed "oh shit!" he said pulling him back into safety in his embrace both panting and wide-eyed and chuckling in relief  "oh! Zach said looking up at Alex's eyes keeping contact for a few seconds before Alex kissed. pure bliss but he wanted Alex to kiss him because he loved him, not because he just saved him so he stopped the kiss and a knowing silence fell upon them. it couldn't work out, not now ." um wow uh," Zach said not really wanting to tell Alex how he really felt " wait" Alex covered his face "shit. I'm so sorry" he turned away and Zach reached for him "no, no, no! Alex, no seriously, man. Look, um he rested his hand on Alex's shoulder but Alex still looked away and sighed  "I don't " he said and Alex turned to I'm looking at his chest embarrassed " uh, I mean, i-I'm not into guys. girls I" Zach stuttered, not even believing himself "I know. I know I know " Alex said wanting to be anywhere else but this moment . "l-l-listen, man, I, um " Zach wanted to tell him . he wanted to kiss him again to feel the softness of his lips, he rubbed the back of his head a little, pondering his next words "you know that I care about you right?" Zach said and Alex nodded " no matter what. Always" he said desperately wanting more but knowing that the time isn't right and Alex nodded avoiding his gaze "you hearing me ?" Zach asked trying to create eye contact "yea," Alex said shoving his hands in his pocket and finally looked up at him " yeah. I should go" and turned away but Zach touched his arm turning him slightly wanting to fix the awkward. "no! no, no, no! come on. we're hanging out tonight. seriously " he said turning Alex facing with him his arm around the short guy's shoulder as they walked to the ledge Zach put one foot on it and they both looked down at the height and Zach giggled and looked up at Alex who glanced up but kept avoiding his look ." holy shit," Zach said and continued to laugh

              

But once again the Dempsey pride would chase away his chance of happiness.