That's the Way I Loved You

6

The bar was humming around him, the low din making it hard to pick up any specific sound, let alone hear himself think. Mark had disappeared a while before, saying something about a blonde he needed to talk to and Derek found himself sitting alone at the bar, staring at the bottom of his scotch glass in the dim light. He was pretty sure he was okay with the not thinking thing; he found solace in the loud hum of the bar and the scotch burning down his throat. It was better than thinking, better than trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with his life that he wasn't sleeping at night. Even if the person he was supposed to be having drinks with had long ago disappeared, this was good. It was good to be out and not thinking.

"Another one, Shep?" the bartender asked, suddenly appearing out of no where, his voice cutting through the din.

"Sure," Derek nodded, smiling at Joe.

"Consider this one on the house," Joe offered as he poured him a scotch. "You look like you need it. Long week?"

"Or long life," Derek laughed, shaking his head as he allowed his eyes to close, just concentrating on the sounds of the busy bar around him. He wasn't thinking, just for tonight he wasn't going to think about his life, he was just going to drink and enjoy the noise.

"Need to talk about it?"

"I'm not going to burden you with my problems which are...I'm not even sure what they are."

"Hey! I'm a bartender. People pay me to listen to their problems. That would be like me not letting you cut into my brain."

"Maybe later," Derek sighed.

"Just keep it in mind," Joe nodded, pushing the glass of scotch toward him before turning to move away, going to serve a group of interns at the other end of the bar.

Derek was pretty sure he had to be worse off than he thought. Because Mark and Sophie noticing that he was off was one thing, but if Joe was noticing, Derek couldn't help but wonder exactly how tired or sad or whatever it was that he looked. Because sitting here, realizing that he looked so bad that he waranted a free drink from an experience bartender, Derek was pretty sure something was really wrong.

He sipped at his scotch, wincing as the liquid burned his throat and he shifted on his stool to look over the crowded bar, seeing if he could make his best friend's head out anywhere. People were all over, bodies pressed together in the dark bar, sounds and smells mingling in the crowded room. He wasn't sure why he was here, sitting alone while his best friend went to flirt with some random girls but it was okay. He was okay being here because it was better than being home and trying not to think of how much he wasn't sure what was wrong with his life. It was better to get lost in the crowd.

It was then the distinct giggle cut through the din.

Derek was surprised to feel his heart jump at the soft sound, at the familiarity of it and the way it had always made him feel. But it couldn't be the giggle, even if Sophie swore she had seen Meredith a few weeks before, there was no way it was her giggle. It was a big city and there had to be another giggle that sounded like that, even if he hadn't heard it in over a decade. But then the sound filled the bar again, or at least it sounded like it filled the bar and a shiver ran down his back. He had always loved the giggle, the way it was light and airy and full of joy and gave no indication of the passionate and firey woman that it belonged to. He had always loved the way the giggle made him feel, the shivers down the back and the way his heart tripped.

He wasn't sure if he was even surprised when he turned around and saw the familiar blonde head leaning over the bar.

"Meredith Grey," he breathed, shaking his head.