Find your Way

Chapter 1

Okay Torres, you really messed up big time.
I made my way to General Reeds Office.
My knees felt weak and I started sweating, when I arrived on the doorstep I took a deep breathe, adjusted my ponytail and knocked at the door. From the inside I could hear voices talking and footsteps coming towards the door.
Captain Maxwell opened the door.

I literally could read in his face he was over the top pissed at me and if he would have been alone with me he probably would have punched me in the face, because I disobeyed his orders and risked my and my teams life in a dangerous maneuver.
I knew I had to pay for it and had to bear the consequences. But am I ready for it? Should I go on my knees and apologize for my behavior? NO I'm not gonna do that, it was right flying it and all my male companions support me.

General Reed looked up from his desk, „Torres, come in." I walked into the office and saluted Captain Maxwell and General Reed. The Captain closed the door behind me and stepped on the left side behind the General, „Stir Lieutenant and take a seat "

I stirred, sat down and eyed both men. Why do I think, I'm gonna lose my Job. This situation feels like an execution so far. General Reed took a deep breathe and eyed me, „So what do you have to say in your defense?"
Why do I have to defend myself? „Sir, with all dues respect. I was aware of the risks of this reckless maneuver."
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Captain Maxwell sighed and how he formed his hands into fists, ready to break something.
General Reed wrote some notes down, „How can you be fully aware of all the risks when you've been piloting only for a year now."

Was he really serious to ask me such a question now?  "Sir, I train harder than any other soldier in my unit and was perfectly prepared for this maneuver."
"You disobeyed a direct order, the maneuver should not have been performed by you." Captain Maxwell sounded furious.
Rage started to spread through my abdomen, yet I tried to restrain myself, "Is it because I'm a woman?" Both men stared at me in utter disbelief, "I know that many of my male colleagues have flown this maneuver countless times, and they' ve disobeyed a direct order, and there have never been any consequences."
I was stopped by Captain Maxwell, "That's quite different and doesn't compare to this at all."

It was the same, there was no difference. My higher-ups draw a distinction because I'm a woman. "Then please explain the actual difference to me."
The General interrupted us: "Enough is enough! The fact is Lieutenant you violated an order you were given and now you must face the repercussions. Captain Maxwell and I have therefore decided to suspend you from active flight duty for an indefinite period."
Are they serious? "I beg your pardon? It seems pretty over the top to me.
Captain Maxwell let out a sarcastically laugh" That's the only way you' re going to learn."

"Captain stand down. Lieutenant Torres you will not be removed from duty entirely, you will assist in future missions from the ground" General Reed admonished my supervisor.
I don't believe it. They mean it! I only support from the ground, no more flying. I was about to slam into something. He continued talking, "Torres please make your report in Hangar 4 at 0600 tomorrow for a mission briefing."
I simply nodded. Well, I have no other choice now. I arose and saluted.
"Now step aside, soldier."

Furious and on the verge of tears, I marched out of the office straight to my room to change. I have to get out of here and as I don't have to get back to work before tomorrow morning anyway, I can now enjoy my free time.
While I was standing in my room getting changed, I faced the mirror and admired a photo, it was my favorite picture. My father and grandfather had gone fishing with me that day and I had caught the biggest fish ever. On the photo I was just happy and had no worries, my grandfather had me in his arms and my father was holding my fish.
I noticed how tears rose even more, so I turned away from the picture and hit a pillow