Drowned Words

6

I sat in silence, watching warily as Jim let out small groans. Any bump caused by the RV was hurting him and by the look of his face, we both seemed to agree he wasnt going to make it.
Dale honked, signalling for us all to stop.
Standing up I sent him an apologetic smile, "Hey I'll go see what is up."
He looked me over, "Thank you (Y/n)..." I froze and looked back, "Dont talk like that."
"You know I'm not going to make it-"
"-i dont KNOW anything Jim..." reaching forward I used the small rag to dab away sweat, "Hang in there."
"(Y/n), you see how I am. This drive is gonna kill me before we make it to the CDC."

The group decided that heading there would be our best bet. Some disagreed and the ones that didnt want to go stayed behind, the Martinez family.

"Jim..."
"I want to see my family."
His words hurt me, it was true thought and everything he was saying was true as well. My selfish thoughts kicked in, I dont want to be the one to want you die. I dont want to put you down. I- "I am going to miss you."
He softly smiled and grabbed my hand, "Thank you."
Nodding I turned, walking out of the RV nad facing the others as they chatted. The RV hose wasnt lasting very well and we needed to stop for some repairs. Andrea's eyes caught me as I stepped out, "Hey. How is he doin?"
Shaking my head I only waved, "Shane..." stepping towards the men and no one seemed to pay mind to me. "Shane- I-" "-we are a bit busy right now." "But-" "-(Y/n)." He sent me a stern look, something a parent would give a child. Any courage I had in me shrunk down, my chest already heaved from Jim's words earlier. Stepping to the side Rick seemed to take notice of the silence and the worried look over Andrea's face. He sighed and nudged Shane, "What's the problem?"
"Jim-" I took a deep breath trying not to crack, "-he needs to talk to one of you..."
"What's wrong?" Shane asked, stepping closer to me. I couldnt help but cringe back as his hand touched my arm, "He wants us to let go."
"Let-"
"I got it," Rick pat his friends back and went to the RV. The look on Shane's face was dark, he didnt seem to like Rick's leadership very much. I pushed his hand away and looked to the others, "Jim is hurting. Real bad y'all... Anytime the RV moves he is in pain. Suffering." Carol and Lori comforted their children as I continued, "No matter how much I hate to admit it," looking down to hide the wetness of my eyes, "he is right. A-and Jim deserves to rest and be with his fa-family again."

I slightly covered my mouth and turned away, walking towards one of our other vehicles, trying to get away from the others. Their soft gasps and hicks could be heard but luckily I was far enough to escape their eyes. "Quite a speech there," Daryls voice seemed to appear from no where, I turned around and noticed him sitting in the bed of the truck. I quickly moved away, wiping the small tear that threatened to fall and sniffled. Lame attempts to lie, this shouldnt affect me so bad. These people hardly know me and I hardly know them.

"Wouldve figured you smarter than to get attatched."
"Fine. I get it. You were right at camp you were right. Just-" I let out a sigh, "Stop with the bullshit." He fiddled with the string of his crossbow, "Nuf' of the tears already. You'll be running dry by the time we get to the CDC."
"Whatre you even going for? Why arent you smart enough to get not attached?"
"Nothin' else to do and I'm not."
"Then stop worrying about me," I spat, taking anger out on Daryl made me feel shitty but part of it felt justified. All he did was complain about plans, his brother, or whatever someone was doing. At least that's all it looked like he did. Him talking about me getting attached and crying was all too frustrating.

Daryl looked to the group, "Might want to go back to them." Looking over the truck I noticed they were helping Jim out of the van, my heart panged. "No," my voice cracked, "I said my goodbyes." He nodded and hopped down, taking leave and joining the rest.

Taking the moment to myself, I shook my head in a way to shake away the tears. Reaching up I could feel my eyes starting to puff a bit, all the emotions that have rushed at me the last couple days have started to take its toll. I was exhausted. Trying my best to ignore the group surrounding Jim, I took a look at the other vehicles. Rick and Carol's family took up one. Daryl, Andrea, and Jacqui took up another. Shane, Glenn, and T dog had the smallest car while Daryl drive alone. Looking back to the truck I saw Merles bike, I let my fingers glide against the tire.

Hearing the others get closer it all sunk in. I didnt want to go back in the RV, all it reminded me of was death. Someone would end up sitting in Jim's spot and I sure as hell didnt want to be there to see it. Maybe there would be room in Shane's car... my stomach turned at the thought of riding with him but maybe I could stand it since Glenn and T Dog were there. "Hey," the change in tone almost tricked me into thinking it was someone else, "we are about to hit the road."

I looked to the RV and Daryl seemed to take notice of my hesitance. "Ridin' with me?" "Thought I'd take my chances with Shane." He nodded, "Not even Glenn could save that ride though." Many of us weren't a big fan of Shane and his temper has risen since Rick showed up. Of course most of us knew about his little thing with Lori so I assumed it was about that.
I attempted to lighten up, "So what, ride with someone that's almost killed me three times?" "Well," he rolled his eyes and humored me, "Two outta Three were your fault." I smiled, "You sure?" Daryls eyes met mine and for a split second I felt my chest twinge, "Take it or leave it." With that he walked away, his arm lightly touching mine as he passed. I watched as he walked away, maybe riding with him wouldnt be so bad.

Daryl didnt seem too shocked as I slid into the seat next to him. No words needed to be spoken between us, and his body language told me he didnt really want to talk anyways. I looked out the window and saw Jim leaning against a tree, his wishes... The thought of him being torn apart by geeks haunted me, I only pressed my hands against my eyes trying to press it back. My head leaned against the window as we rode on, "Think the CDC is a bust?"

He let out a short grunt, "Dunno..." the trucks rumbling filled the gap, "...you?"
"I dont know. Feels too good to be true from what Rick is saying," A yawn left my lips as I slouched into the seat, "I'll be fine as long as they got someplace safe to stay."
"No where is safe."
I side eyed him, "You dont know that Daryl. Never know, maybe they got a whole town of people locked down... Food... AC... hot," I hissed, "hot water that you can stand under for days." My eyes drifted shut as he spoke, "Sounds like your standards are too high."

"No," I hummed, "all I need is a nice soft bed for once. Maybe a good glass of wine before bed and a man to snuggle with." That part put a smirk on my lips, "Maybe there are woman there for you too." I peeked under my lid to see him roll his eyes, "You look like a cuddle bug."

Daryl shook his head and looked over to me as I continued, "Regret the ride yet?"
"Yes," he said without hesitation.
I laughed, which took us both by surprise. It's been the first time in a while I felt something so pure leave me, "I'm just teasing Dixon." The small smirk on his lips betrayed the silence he returned. I smiled and closed my eyes again, letting the exhaustion take me.