Breakfast

Words: 991

Waking up on Monday morning, I make my way straight to the bathroom. Feeling very happy with the weekend. I worked two full days at a soccer tournament and it was incredibly fun. Standing in the cafe and kitchen helping serve all the guests there to watch the different teams compete for first place.

On my way to exit the bathroom I feel a little dizzy, so I stop in the doorway. I close my eyes to prevent the word from moving. While at the same time reaching out to grab the doorframe, in an attempt to further keep the word still. As it should be.

After a few seconds the feeling passed and I figured I just turned around too fast. It happens to me every now and then. I keep walking, taking the first step from the bathroom door.

I have to stop again, one foot basically still in the bathroom. The feeling came back and I repeat the same thing, hand on wall, eyes closed.

It doesn't work.

My head is dizzy and the world is spinning. Or am I the one spinning? I don't know.

I open my eyes again, focusing on the wall so I can sit down against it. In another attempt to ground myself and get rid of the awful feeling.

The feeling of having no control over anything, feeling like nothing matters. Because it doesn't. No matter what I try to do it won't work, and I know that. The only solution is to do nothing. Do nothing and hope you stopped doing something before it became irreversible.

It worked.

After a while, a little longer than it was in the bathroom, the feeling went away. But why did it come back if it was because I turned around too fast?

I figure it's because I haven't eaten in awhile and am hungry, not because I turned around too fast. I decide to get to the kitchen and make a bowl with yoghurt. The kitchen is at the end of the hall, it's not that far and besides, the feeling is gone.

I slowly and with my eyes closed, to avoid the moving in my vision, get up off the floor. With small careful steps I make my way towards the end of the hall.

Halfway there.

The feeling is back.

I immediately close my eyes when my vision starts to go black from the sides, and reach my right hand down to the floor. As soon as it makes contact with the floor, the left hand reaches out as well, also making contact with the floor. I set my knees down and slide my legs out from under me, now sitting on the floor. With my eyes still closed I slide so that my back has contact with the wall. Taking slow and hopefully steady breaths.

Three times in two minutes. This can't be good. Determination fills my body and I must get to the kitchen.

I, slowly, open my eyes again when the feeling in my head, but also in my body, is gone. My vision starts to go black again.

From the outside of what I can see, pure darkness enters, taking the view of the hallway wall opposite me. I close my eyes again, waiting. Why? Just leave me for long enough to get to the kitchen, get a bowl, a spoon and some yoghurt.

After a few seconds I try again. Normal. Everything is back to normal. Again, I slowly stand back up, walking faster than before to the kitchen.

I make it into the kitchen and open the cabinet housing all the bowls and grab one. After that I turn around and open the fridge, grabbing the yoghurt. I'm still good. I pour the yoghurt in the bowl and turn around again to put it back. After that I open the drawer with all the spoons and grab one. I'm still good. Despite feeling okay I decide to skip any cereal, that would just waste my precious time.

With my newly made bowl of yoghurt in hand I make my way to the kitchen table. It's a bit away, which I am for the first time finding annoying.

After a step or two I am still okay and therefore decide that the couch would be better. It's closer to the ground and not that much further away.

A few steps after I made that decision the darkness once again started to take over my vision. But this time there was no dizziness. So I decided to walk the remaining way to the couch to sit down.

I reach the doorway that connects the kitchen with the living room. The darkness has taken half of my field of view from me. All I have left is a circle in the middle surrounded by an ocean of just black.

I take another step now determined to get to the couch to sit down and eat. I will make it.

All of a sudden I can't tell where the couch is or how far I have gotten into the living room. The small circle that is my vision had decreased. I can no longer see. With my determination in full force I take another step forward.

Something hit my knee. I hear something crash against something else.

My vision comes back to me and I am laying on the floor on my stomach next to the couch. In front of me is my bowl of yoghurt. The bowl is in many pieces and the yoghurt is splattered on the floor and maybe on the couch too.

I don't know what happened.

After a moment I sit up and slide so that I am sitting with my back against the side of the couch. For a second I am just looking at my hands trying to think of what happened.

I really don't know.

Help.

I am lost.

I need help.