Wishful

Clear

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"

With that one word, I was snapped back to my reality. 

Opening my eyes, I expected to find myself on my living room floor, listening to the soothing music of meditation app.  Instead, I found myself standing in the corner of a hospital room, watching a medical team frantically trying to save a patient's life.

With everyone crowded around the patient, I couldn't get a good view of their face.  I could only identify the patient as female, based on the shape of her legs and painted toes.

I was confused.  Why was I here and not at home?

"Give her another amp of epinephrine!" The female doctor standing in front of me instructed.

"One amp epi in." The nurse responds after administering the ordered medication.

The doctor and I quietly watch as a tech continues CPR on the woman.

I was glued to the spot, hoping that the medical team would be successful in saving the woman.

"Pulse check."  The doctor orders.

I held my breath, hoping they would find a pulse.

"There's no pulse, doctor." Another nurse grimly informs the doctor.

I hear the doctor sighs in frustration.  "She's still in vfib.  Prepare to shock again." The doctor instructs the team.

I hear the defibrillator start to charge.  I feel tears streaming down my cheeks - remembering how helpless I felt when I had been trying to save Jin's life.

"Charging." A nurse calls out.  "Clear." The same nurse informs the team.

"Clear." Everyone says as they step back from the patient, so the shock can be delivered.

I gasp in shock!  The woman lying on that hospital bed...is me!!!

I watch in horror as they shock my lifeless body.  It's hard to believe that the pale, patient lying there is really me!

Was I dead?!

I had no memory of being sick, or being admitted to the hospital, let alone dying!  I physically felt fine.  How could this be happening?  Was this even real or some sick nightmare shift that I was experiencing?

"Come on Sierra!" I hear the doctor quietly whisper to herself, as another member of the medical team resumes CPR to try to save my life. 

I don't know how to process what I'm seeing...

Stuck in that corner of the hospital room, I watch helplessly as they try to save my lifeless body.

The doctor turns her head to glance back behind her, towards the corner where I'm standing.

Does she see me?

I hold still, unsure if she's able to see my ghostly presence?

The doctor doesn't seem to react to my presence, she just looks like she's looking for some answers or insight on how to save me.  I however have another shocking revelation - because when the doctor turns her head, I discover that doctor is none other than....Areum Lee!

The truth of what's happening hits me like a ton of bricks when I see Areum's face! 

Was this why I've kept seeing her while shifting?  Was my subconscious mind trying to tell me that something was wrong?

Have I not been simply shifting realities this whole time, but actually shifting towards death?! 

Was my whole time with BTS some weird temporary purgatory?  Was I really dead?

Suddenly, it made sense why nothing was ever perfect in any of those realities that I had shifted to.  I hadn't made it to heaven.  So was there a chance that I could come back to life?

No wonder Jin had been rejecting me!  He had been trying to get me to return all along!  I'd only listened to him when HE almost died.  I hadn't chosen to return on my own.  It was only Jin's frantic begging that had gotten me to return back to my reality.  Jin somehow had known that I was running out of time! 

If I didn't shift back soon to my body...I knew that I would be dead... permanently!

The only problem...

I had no idea how I was supposed to get back into my body!

_______________________________________

A/N

Comment if you saw this coming?

I told you from the very beginning that this story made me feel like this...

Sorry to leave y'all hanging...but stay tuned...

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