Electric Dreams

A Missguided Love Song

                                         Why do we say 'Falling in Love'  when Love is the very thing that lifts us?    Ariana

                Stumbling into  his own apartment , Ben fumbled for the light. It switched on by itself.  Bee Bee Ate had heard him come through the door and helped him by turning on the lights.
      Bee Bee Ate made himself right at home, quite literally.

           He was in the electrical wiring and plumbing.  Which included the kitchen , bedroom and bathroom.
     He had left the door unlocked , not knowing when Ben would be home .

       The little lap top was so excited to share his new song with Ben . He was sure to love it .

        He had worked all day at it, watching soap opera's and commercials.  He thought he had a well defined idea of what love was and how to put it to music.

             "Vem....... Vem...... your home!   Hey, I finished my love song ...... do you want to hear it?"   It said excitedly.

         "My name is Ben for the thousandth time!"     He got a funny picture in his mind of a lap top running to him and jumping on his legs like a lonely dog , licking his hands welcoming his master home.

             He wasn't in the mood at the moment to hear the song , good or bad.

       But BeeBee Ate wasn't going to be sidelined.         A loud rush of noise and flashes of color came from its screen.

          Suddenly Ben's ears rang with  a horrible commercial jingle turned into something that kind of resembled a song.... 🎵

              Oh, girl, you are finger lick'n good ......
                     I go pop pop fizz fizz what a relief it is when I'm with you......
                              Like a good neighbor Ben Solo is there!
                                     I am stuck on Rey because she's stuck on me!.............

    "That's terrible!"    Ben couldn't decide if he would rather laugh at the ludicrousness of the song or cry  over it.

      " I can't give that to her .  She'd laugh at it."  He didn't think he'd hurt the little lap tops feelings, it didn't have any, right?

            " She'll laugh at me anyway."   He tugged aggressively at his  thick hair in self contempt. " I did something awful . It was going so well and of course I screwed it up!"

           Now Ben was pacing the floor, in abject misery.

    " What happened Vem?"  The question was tinged with a trace of anger.

       "None of your business!"

   " This is my business. I'm making it my business........She is my business."    A red glow from the screen bathed the living room in a unnatural light.

      Ben didn't like that last sentence . It sent a odd shiver up his spine.  Was that a threat?   He wasn't sure what this computer was capable of.

       It had entrenched itself in the very fabric of the apartment and now it thought  it could take control of his love life?

          Ben didn't even make it to his own bed that night. His mind was  spinning and confused. He felt as if he was in a labyrinth of crazy swirling emotions.  So lost and alone.
Didn't Rey say that he wasn't alone, that he could go to her whenever he needed?

      No, no.   This was getting too complicated .  He was taught to always stand on his own two feet.  Never show his weakness ,never be vulnerable.

        He hid behind a mask all his life and Rey had somehow managed to find the cracks and battered down his defenses.

       It felt odd to be so exposed to a woman.  Other men had women in their life , not him.
  Not that he wanted to lead  a life of celibacy, but his treatment of Rey showed just what  a idiot he was.
             She deserved better than him. And he needed to tell her that heartbreaking fact now.   The faster the band-aid  is ripped off the quicker the pain will fade.

  With very little sleep the night before, Ben made his way down to Rey's apartment, blurry  eyed and regretful, but resolute in his determination to break it off with her.

          She came to the door looking very much like him.  Like she hadn't slept a wink.

      She gasped  when she saw him standing in her door way.  His eyes looked haunted, his shoulders slumped.
    She blinked up at him and waited .  Is he going to apologize for last night, for running out on her?
      Beg her forgiveness?   Finish what they started last night?

          Maybe she should have been sitting down when he dropped the  bomb.

         "Rey, I'm sorry I ran out on you, I am a complete idiot.  But the thing is ...". He took a deep breath but couldn't meet her gaze.
                " I can't do this.  This thing between us ..... it's too weird , too strange...... too complicated."

          " Ben , I've never told you how much I love the color of your eyes. Their the same color of the Whiskey my granddaddy would drink on a Summer evening. He'd tell me funny and sometimes sad stories as we sat on the back porch of his house."

       "I'd  watch the lightning bugs dance in the air. It was a magical time in my childhood. I time I'll treasure.  When ever I look into your eyes those wonderful warm memories come back to me." 

     Ben stood with his arms hanging limply at his side, still staring at the ground. Why was she telling him this?

         " If your trying to tell me that you can't handle this right now, I can be patient.  Y granddaddy was the most patient man I knew.  But I must say that  you are breaking my heart."
         Tears fell from her eyes and dripped off her chin.

   And with those final words she turned and left him alone.

             Ben felt hollow inside as he slowly went back up the stairs. Had he done the right thing?   It would be better if he kept his darkness from over powering her light.
      She was better off without him , then why did he feel so empty.

       He went to open the door and found it locked .    "Open this door, damn it!"   Ben had now began cursing. 
         This silly little lap top was driving him to drink, distraction and cussing !

                          He had no idea what was to come.