cause misery loves company [gureshin]

where it all began

When Guren stared out of the window, all he could see was destruction. The world had ended over three years ago but a part of him still hoped it would all simply go back to how it was before.

How it was before he destroyed everything for his own personal gain.

Of course he knew how childish, even somewhat egoistic this thought was, considering it was all his fault. But sometimes, just sometimes, he allowed himself to think such pointless thoughts.

Guren had never regretted his decision, no matter how miserable the world might look now. His comrades, his friends - his family. They received another chance, another ten years that they would be able to live in this now rotten world. And they had no idea.

Ten years. This was more often than not all that Guren could think about. Three years had already passed. Seven years left. He couldn't help but wonder. How many breaths do you take in seven years? How many times do you blink? How many times does your heart beat, fast and steady?

Whenever the young man would close his eyes, all he could see was that one faithful day. The day where he lost everything that was important to him.

Sayuri and Shigure - Even though they could be kind of annoying sometimes, Guren knew they would do everything for him. They've already been through so much together. He just didn't expect them to actually follow him until the very end. He wished they hadn't.

Mito and Goshi - Despite Guren saying multiple times that he "doesn't need any friends" and that he was "better off without them", they never left him. They taught him to ignore people's statuses, their last names and their reputation. They taught him that he did in fact need friends, someone to protect. And now here he was.

Mahiru - Despite it all, Guren couldn't tell what he felt towards her at the very end. He was angry, so angry - and he felt so terribly sorry for her. It had all been planned out since the very beginning and Mahiru had lived with the knowledge of her young death all along. All she wanted was to be a normal girl with a normal life and she got nothing but despair. He wished he could turn back time and save her.

And Shinya - Oh Shinya. Nothing could ever describe the things Guren felt while watching him die in his arms, holding onto him for dear life. He wanted to save him, he wanted to save him so badly, but he was helpless. Unable to do anything. All he could do was cry and scream until his eyes were red and his voice was broken.

He had never lost his composure like that before but seeing his first and best friend like this broke his heart into a million pieces.

When Mahiru told him about how resurrection was possible and how he could revive his friends with the cost of the whole world dying, he didn't even think about it twice.

He felt ashamed and hated himself for it, yes - but being with them again, laughing and playing video games together like normal teenagers - that was all he truly desired.

And so he gave in and destroyed the world.

"Guren? Hello? Earth to Guuuren!"

The black haired man had been so lost in his memories that he hadn't even noticed how his best friend - the one he had sacrificed the world for - had entered the room and was now standing right beside him.

Sighing, he turned his head and looked right into Shinya's light blue eyes. His friend just laughed and put an arm around Guren's shoulder.