my tears ricochet 𛲕 stranger things

chapter 17, the weirdest girl in hawkins

CHAPTER 17: THE WEIRDEST GIRL IN HAWKINS

But in the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me
Then this heart would break and fall twice as far.
— Sun Bleached Flies, Ethel Cain

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

December 1st, 1983: Collins Home

LYING CAME NATURALLY TO DAPHNE DAVENPORT. All her life, she had been taught that sometimes, lying was better than the truth. But for the first time, she was starting to question that. Every time she sat down at the dinner table with the Collins family, she felt her heart break a little more as she watched the hope swell on their faces.

How could it be better to lie to them, to feed them false hope and made up theories when the whole time Daphne knew... their daughter was dead? The guilt manifested itself into something physical, coating the cheerleader with an almost sticky feeling that clung to her skin and made her itch from the inside out.

Ever since the night Daphne found out her best friend was dead, something inside her had been breaking more and more each day. She could feel it deep inside of her, splintering and cracking like old wood. She was becoming hollow. She walked around like she wasn't really there, and she could no longer recognise the person she had turned into. And the worst part was that deep down... Daphne knew it was her fault.

She'd gotten into an argument with Fern that night, and it had been that argument that caused Fern to go off alone. If they hadn't fought that day, Fern never would have been on Mirkwood and the demogorgon never would have got her. Daphne hadn't even gotten the chance to say goodbye.

The only person who noticed that she was falling apart was Steve. Ever since that night, he had refused to leave her side. Daphne knew she should appreciate all that he was doing for her, but she couldn't help but feel trapped. Sometimes when Steve touched her, she still thought about Ethan Smith and what he'd taken from her the night of Steve's party. Sometimes she even flinched when he moved too fast around her.

She knew that he noticed, but he didn't say anything. He didn't try to push her. He was just there for her, a constant reassuring presence. But a part of her wished he would just stop. She wanted to be alone, to grieve in her own way. She didn't want to let anyone else down.

He'd insisted on coming with her to these agonising dinners with Fern's Mom and brother. He told her 'she shouldn't have to do this alone'. They were currently standing outside the Collins' door, Steve's hands on the side of her face, brushing the hair away from her cheeks.

"Are you ready?" he asked, clearing his throat. "We just have to eat dinner and then we can leave."

Daphne stared back at him blankly, wishing she was anywhere but here. "I can't keep lying to them, Steve."

"I know," her boyfriend replied, his eyes filled with sympathy that Daphne didn't deserve. "But we don't have a choice, okay? So let's just get through dinner."

Daphne nodded in defeat. She stood slightly behind Steve as he knocked on the front door. Almost as if she had been waiting on their arrival, the front door swung open immediately and Mrs Collins ushered them inside. Steve helped Daphne take off her coat and hung it up on the hook beside the door, and they both followed Mrs Collins into the dining room.

"It's not much, I'm sorry," said Mrs Collins, nodding towards the takeaway pizzas in the centre of the table. "I just got home from work, and I didn't have time to make anything else—"