Everlark- The Years After the Epilogue *Editing*

Do I Tell Him?

PREGNANT.

My heart didn't stop, instead I felt like there were butterflies in my stomach. I was having another baby. I smiled to myself. ''Johanna, I'm pregnant'' I said smiling jumping up and down.

''Congratulation brainless, eee im so excited'', she said giving me a big hug. I put the test back in the drawer, ready to show Peeta later and then we headed back into the front room. I slumped down onto the sofa. ''I knew we'd have baby number 3 sometime soon'', Johanna gloated.

''Hmm whatever'', I said rolling my eyes. We watched TV for a while, but I wasn't really concentrating much, I'd zoned out. The excitement had faded, I felt numb. I felt scared.

''What's up? I thought you were happy about it?'' Johanna asked me.

''I was- I am. It's just'' my voice cracked slightly, as my eyes filled with tears. ''I'm scared''.

''Come on, don't be. Don't worry, no one can hurt him or her, I promise.'' She meant it, Johanna didn't protect herself, she protected the ones around her. ''As soon as Peeta comes back you need to tell him Katniss, don't keep this bottled up because you'll just worry yourself sick.''

''But what if-''

''Katniss, tell him.'' She said earnestly. Peeta would be back 1 hour before my mother brought the children home, so we'd have plenty of time to talk, for the next half hour Johanna stayed clear of any topics related to the baby, and when it was time to go I saw her to the door.

''Thankyou, for everything'', I said giving her a hug.

''Anytime, you know that, I'll see you later and tell him'' She shouted down the pathway. I padded back into the front room and curled up into a blanket, taking steady breathes to calm myself down. I was feeling really tired, and so I decided to have a small sleep. I curled up on the sofa and let all my worries disappear. I don't know how long it had been exactly, but I felt someone move me closer to the edge and then lay down next to me, my eyes flickered open as I felt some strong arms wrap around my waist, holding me.

''Sorry, did I wake you?'' I heard Peeta's voice say.

''Mmm'', I mumbled sleepily.

''Well, I'm back earlier than expected, so just carry on sleeping for a while, we have time.'' I nestled my head into Peeta's chest and slowly fell back to sleep again. I suddenly woke up as I felt Peeta's chest rising quickly, his breathing thickened and his eyes shot open, red from terror. "GET HIM AWAY, DON'T. PLEASE, PLEASE.'' He yelled. I sat him upright and he buried his head in his hands.

''Peeta, it's not real, you're here with me.'' I whispered holding him.

''NO DON'T DO THIS, NOT NOW, PLEASE'', He yelled again. He had sunk to the floor, his body trembling and breath thick.

''Peeta, it's not real, it's Katniss- I'm here''. He was in his own world, I don't even think he could hear me, his memories had consumed him. I could see the tears filling up his eyes, his back shaking.

''KATNISS HELP ME, NO STOP, NOT THAT, ANYTHING BUT THAT, KATNISS'' He was crying out for me to come, to help him.

''Peeta, please, it's not real. You're safe, it's not real'', I thought about him in his cell being beaten, I hadn't realised he'd cried out for me to help.

''SHE IS COMING, SHE WOULDN'T LEAVE ME. NO SHE DOESN'T HATE ME, YOU'RE A LIAR, AND SHE NEEDS ME. I- I NEED HER'' He cried.

''Peeta'', I said cradling him, his hand suddenly shot out, he gripped my arm and the shaking stopped.

''Y-y-you're here'', he choked out. ''Katniss'' he whispered, closing his eyes in relief.

''Shh, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.'' We sat on the floor together for a while, while his breathing turned back to normal and the flashback was long gone. ''Come on, let's go to the bathroom and sort ourselves out, the kids will be back soon.'' I got up and helped Peeta stand, we head down to the bathroom and I sat him down on the side of the bath, I turned towards the cabinet to get a towel and I suddenly realised. The drawer. The test. The baby. I'd gotten so caught up in Peeta's flashback that I had completely forgotten about it, I couldn't tell him now. Not after this, who knows how he'll react- he wasn't his full self yet, he was still too weary. I got the towel and wet it slightly, dabbing at his face.

''Is this real?'' He whispered.

''Yes, it's real'', I tell him.

''Are you sure?''

''I promise'', to prove it I leaned in and placed my lips on his, there must have been a small seed of doubt in his mind, threatening for the nightmares to start again, because he didn't respond for a while, but eventually he did.

''You love me. Real or not real.'' He asks.

I tell him ''Real''.

Later on my mother brought Willow and Rye back home and Peeta returned to normality. But all through the evening my mind was consumed with worry as to when I should tell him, earlier wasnt the right time, now wasn't the right time, seeing as the children were back, what if there never was a right time? What if we just weren't meant to have this baby? Katniss, stop it. I can feel the warmth from my stomach reminding me that someone is in there, fighting to stay alive, I have to protect them, because already I'm starting to feel love. ''Mum, are you alright?'' Willow asks me as she sits down next to me.

''Yeah sweetie, I'm fine, just a little tired'' I tell her. ''How has your day been?''

''It's been alright, we had a maths test, but then drama all afternoon so that was good.'' She burbled on and on about her day, smiling and carefree- I wanted to keep her carefree for as long as I could, she didn't need the stress we had. That night when I put Rye to bed I knelt down beside his crib, stroking his hand whilst he sucked on his thumb, his grey eyes, fighting to stay awake. Eventually his long eyelashes closed together and he fell to sleep. I'd have to do this all again soon, the early morning feeds, the never ending lullaby's, but I knew as long as I had Peeta with me and the children safe, I'd be fine. Peeta had fallen asleep early tonight, I watched his chest rise and fall peacefully and thought about when to tell him. I was so set on telling him today, Johanna had convinced me it was the right thing to do otherwise, like now, the worry would keep building up and I'd have noone to talk about it with. The flashback showed our lives would never be perfect, but it could be close, I just hoped Peeta would be able to cope. He loved Willow and Rye so much, but a third? We can't guarantee its safety just yet, not while my body is still overrun with terror. I laid there thinking, I had to tell him. He needed to know, and so I set a date. 2 days from now we had reservations at a restaurant down town- I would tell him then.