Megumi's Flower ❀ | ɢᴏꜰᴜꜱʜɪ

[ XIV ]

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This kind of thing went on for the next two years. During the day whenever I saw him, I would try to avoid Gojo whenever I could, like walking away whenever he was in the room, or brushing his arm aside whenever he tried to put his arm around me, while also trying my best to act casual around him and pretend like nothing was wrong. 

During the night was when my coughing fits happened. Tsumiki would come to my room at night and stay with me while I coughed up blood and flower petals until I fell asleep. All the while Gojo went out and spent time with other woman.

I tried to get out more. Like join clubs in my middle school and meet new friends, and hang out with Tsumiki every now and then, but I usually spent my time at the library reading books. I tried to spend as much time out of the house as possible so I wouldn't have to see him. But despite doing that, my coughing fits didn't get better, they got worse over time. I felt like I was going to die every night.

But I guess maybe it started to get a little better, because tonight it wasn't as bad. I coughed up flower petals every now and then, but not too much blood. I picked up a petal from the side of my bed. A blue petal. The color of Gojo's eyes. I threw it away. Why must everything remind me of him?

Tsumiki knocked on my door. "Are you okay Megumi?" She asked. "Still going through...you know?"

"You can come in," I told her, and she walked in. "Like I said, it's not that bad tonight."

She sighed in relief. "That's good," she said. "Listen, Gojo-san and I are going to play a video game, and he asked me to ask you if you wanna join."

"Oh, so he's not sleeping with some random girl tonight? That's rare nowadays." I retorted. "Anyways, you already know what my answer is going to be," I told her.

She shrugged. "Yeah, I know. But I thought it would be worth a shot trying. You can't keep avoiding him forever."

I turned over in my bed, not looking at her anymore. "Yeah, I know that. But it's easier for me to avoid him then to see him. But you go ahead and hang out with him, I'll be okay. At least for tonight."

"Are you sure-"

"Yes!" I yelled. "Now go on so I can get some sleep."

Tsumiki walked out and closed the door behind her. Immediately as she left, my coughing fits came back, and they came back with a vengeance. I ran right over to the toilet, and started coughing blood all over it. 

"Why is it not working!?" I cried out. "Why do I still, after everything, why?" Why do I still like him so much?

Why is it that I have to suffer so much from loving him. It would be better if I hated him. It would be easier for me to hate him. All I get is misery from loving him so much. 

So why can't I stop, no matter how much I've tried?

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