Lost thoughts || Ranboo angst

July

Songs of the chapter: Falling by Harry Styles, Up All Night by One Direction

⚠️Trigger warning: unsafe binding, mention of needles, small mention of surgery, crying (crying happens in like every chapter at this point tbh), slight mention of eating disorder, laughing at someone⚠️

July 9th

Tommy's POV

I woke up and checked the time, 4:03am

I swung my legs off my bed and stood up

Shit I fell asleep in my binder again

I walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I opened my drawer and searched for my testosterone shots. I only need them monthly and I have a high enough dose where I don't have to have hormone blockers as well.

I grabbed the box and saw that there were none left

No

No

No

NO!

I could've sworn there were a couple left last time I checked

My parents wouldn't be able to go pick some up and drive them to me and I needed an adult to go with me to get them

Why didn't I think of this?!

So I could either tell someone and they could go with me and pick it up or I could hope nothing bad happens. I hadn't had top or bottom surgery yet, and dysphoria was a bitch about it. Well, I don't get that dysphoric luckily but still.

I pulled out my phone and checked the date. Today was one month since my last shot, so if I didn't get one within the next few days then things could really get bad

I placed my phone down and got in the shower, with my clothes still on

I turned the shower on and sat down, letting the water soak my clothes as I cried

^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^

I didn't really keep track of how long I was in the shower, I just know that someone knocked on the door

"Tommy?" I heard Tubbo call through the door

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? You've been in there since I got up like an hour ago"

Shit. Had it really been that long?

"Yeah I'm fine! I just lost track of time, that's all"

"Okay"

I sighed and turned the water off, slowly standing up and stepping out of the shower

I kept a bin of clothes in the bathroom just in case

~time skip~

We all went down for breakfast. Dream was making pancakes for everyone.

"Uh Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, how many pancakes do you guys each want?"

"3!" Tubbo screamed

"I'll have 3 as well" I told him

"I'll have 2" Ranboo said

I'd noticed that over the past few days Ranboo had started eating a bit less. Not much less, but a bit. Maybe he just wasn't as hungry.

Dream placed plates of pancakes on the table for everyone

"So what are we going to do today?" Tubbo asked with his mouth full

"Well..." Dream started saying

Dream's POV