are we still the same

chapter 1 : this master needs you

Luo binghe had been busy lately, way too busy. He didn't have any time to come home, and they only interacted at night in the dreamscape created by Luo binghe.

Shen qingqiu, on the other hand, was trying his best to be patient, he was trying to understand his husband's situation. Until he came across the rumors going around. Shen qingqiu knew that these rumors are baseless. There's no way Luo Binghe would ever "find a new lover when he is finally tired of his old master", he knew it very clear yet, there was a fear in his heart.

Luo binghe might have forgiven him, but Shen qingqiu was not over what he did. Obviously, it was all that stupid system's fault. But he could not forgive himself for being the cause of his husband's misery. He is afraid that someday, Luo binghe might start hating him.

He was afraid that someday, his husband, who loves him so dearly right now, might get bored of him. All these fears now came flooding into his mind. The more he tried to shove them away, the more he started to feel anxious. He couldn't be an insecure wife now, shen qingqiu thought to himself.

He kept on going through his regular day, thinking about binghe's different kinds of faces, sometimes smiling, at other times even cracking a laugh or two. He envied his husband, how was he even able to express himself so clearly? It wasn't like shen qingqiu didn't have any emotions neither did he hate the clingy type, it's just he could never form any words when it came to his feelings. How much he wanted to appreciate his husband all day, but he just couldn't.

—

It was already evening when he realized, he had done almost zero work and only kept thinking about his binghe all day. 'look at me', Shen Qingqiu thought, 'just like a teenager in love'. He indeed was like a teenager in love, feeling overwhelmed with different kinds of emotions the whole day. He was clearly absent-minded, but who cares?. He just wanted to see his binghe

Waiting for his husband to create a dreamscape later at night, shen qingqiu let himself fall on the bed tiredly. Trying to fall asleep was the hardest part, he was impatient, forming all kinds of scenarios and thinking about the things he should say to binghe. Way too restless, Shen qingqiu didn't know how to sleep.

—

It was already midnight when Shen qingqiu woke up suddenly. It was a miracle he even slept, but now he was even more restless. There was no dreamscape today? He didn't meet his binghe at all? Feeling a little heartbroken (way too much heartbroken) Shen qingqiu tried to think about possible problems binghe could have been facing right now. Maybe he had a lot of work? Is he working still now? Or maybe he is sick? With every thought crossing through his mind, Shen qingqiu felt himself become more and more restless.

Is he hurt? If he is in trouble shen qingqiu felt he should head to his husband quickly. Already half ready with his robes on and just as Shen qingqiu reached for his shoes, he felt a jab in his heart. Not a physical one. He remembered about all those rumors he heard earlier, about luo binghe finding another one-

Shen qingqiu very harshly slapped one side of his face. With tears forming in his eyes, he cursed himself for thinking so! He had already done enough to put his husband in misery, he can't even think binghe, who is so devoted, would ever betray.

Clearing up his mind, he set out to his husband, to the demon realm. Shen qingqiu felt a little cold as he rushed through the wind on his sword. Honestly, he hated sword riding, It was too much for him. But that didn't matter right now, he just wanted to reach binghe as soon as possible. He wanted to make sure that binghe is okay, he wanted to see his husband, he wanted to tell him-

At this thought, he slowed down. what did he want to tell binghe? he didn't have anything to say, as usual. Shen qingqiu was getting slower in his paths as he started to think about how he never really confessed to binghe. He never told his husband, that he adored him, was grateful for him, felt lucky to have him, and sometimes gets way anxious when he can't see his husband. He never told him that he needs him, desperately, shen qingqiu needs luo binghe in his life. he never tried to tell luo binghe that he loved him. At that time, Shen qingqiu had realized he had taken luo binghe for granted. He never thought that binghe would ever stop loving him. And that was tearing up his soul at that moment.