Older Men

"Could be kissing my fruit punch lips in the bright sunshine."

"And that is why we, as human beings, should care about the rights of women in - not only Afghanistan - but the world. Thank you." As I finished my English Honors Human Rights presentation with a shaky breath, the class applauded polietly. I placed a quivering hand on the desk at the front of the class to keep my balance, the bright lights of the projector nearly blinding me.

        "Alright, nice job." Mrs. Fintry said from her desk at the back of the class. 

        "I better get at least a fucking B for that." I muttered under my breath. A member of the football team seated at the desk on my right snorted, a smile curling at his lips.

        "Any questions for Dama?" Mrs. Fintry asked as I made a move to sit down. I paused when the jock raised his hand, meeting my eyes with a smirk. "Yes, North." 

        North? Is your mom Kim Kardashian? Is your dad Yeezuz?

        "Oh, I'd just like Dama to go over the statistics of underaged marriages in Afghanistan again." He shrugged, slumping into his chair and entwinting his fingers behind his head. "Just because, you know, I didn't really get it the first time."

        I ground my teeth together and clenched my fists, shifting on my black, suede wedges. 

        Couldn't he tell that I was about to run out of the classroom already?

        "Absolutely." I plastered on a fake smile as Mrs. Fintry backtracked a couple slides and I stood in front of a graph from some website I forgot to fucking cite. 

After a few more presentations, the bell finally rang, releasing us all to go to second lunch. I made sure my skirt wasn't stuck in my underwear and my bold black lipstick wasn't on my teeth, knowing that I had to pass Mr. Hawke's classroom on the way to the cafeteria. I smoothed my blonde hair back, watching the class file out. I felt eyes on me as I swung my bag around my neck and turned to find North, running his perceptive gaze from my toes to my eyes.

        I pulled my skirt up a little, higher on my waist and his eyes followed the movement. I shook my head, yanking the brassy hair from under the strap of my leather bag. I strode down the isle and dove into the throng of people outside.

        I could see him in the distance, his class was at the very end of the hallway - last door on the right. He was wearing a pale purple button up, and I had no idea a man could look so masculine in such a soft color. 

        I tried not to trip or to smack into anyone and most of all - not to make eye contact. He was talking to another teacher, and when he laughed - I had to look.

        God, you're so handsome, I thought as I watched his head tilt back ever so slightly, all fox-eyes, tan skin, and sex appeal.

        I nearly trembled.

        I'm so fucking immature.

        I cracked my knuckles - a nervous habit - and turned my gaze away as I passed, hoping he might pick out my signature lipstick in the crowd as I strode past him and around the corner.

        Left, right, left, right. One foot in front of the other, Dama. I mentally reminded myself as I came up to the staircase. I gripped the rail harshly as I stumbled my way downstairs. I could see Poppy and Carmen waiting by the vending machine outside the cafeteria doors. 

        We went to the shortest line - salad - and sat down at the edge of a nearly empty table after we paid. Our conversations were empty but entertaining - the kind of silly stuff I would probably forget in a year.

        "Oh my god, did I tell you guys what happened with Jax last weekend?" Carmen asked, stabbing a peice of chicken with her fork.

        Poppy and I shook our heads.

        "I'm assuming you fricked-the-frack?" I teased, making her snort with laughter.

        I shook my head, twirling a piece of lettuce around my nearly empty plate.

        "Actually, yeah we - oh, wait. Here comes Dominic, I have to tell him too - he's bae as fuck." She paused, violently motioning over one of her other friends, Dominic. I felt his presence behind me as he moved to sit at my right.

        "Dominic, I fricked-the-frack." Carmen said, making Poppy and I laugh. 

        "What?" The blonde asked, dark brows furrowing.

        "I lost my virginity!" She practically cheered.

        Dominic blinked in surprise. "What?" He repeated. "To who?"

         I felt bad for the guy, knowing that he probably liked Carmen more than she knew.

        "Jax Gorder. God, he's sexy." She sighed, brushing her silky black hair back.

        

After another ten minutes of meaningless conversation, Carmen grew restless and we ventured upstairs. I thought I was in the clear when we went left instead of right, venturing farther from Mr. Hawke's classroom, but we somehow made it all the way around until we stood in front of my English class once again. 

        "There he is." Poppy smirked, staring down the hall. 

        Mr. Hawke was still there. The teacher he had been talking to was just leaving.

        "That's him?" Carmen asked, begining to stalk down the hall. 

        "No." I lied, knowing exactly what she was going to do.

        "Yeah, it is." Poppy disagreed.

        "No, it's fucking not." I insisted. We were getting louder now. I could practically feel his curious gaze. 

        We were getting very close and I grabbed Carmen's sleeve, noticing for the first time that she was wearing Jax's football team jacket. I dug my nails into it, trying desperately to stop her, but she was stronger than she looked and my heels slid across the smooth tile like I was walking on sticks of butter, making an even louder noise.

        Just as she called out to him, "Mr. Hawke!" He turned towards the water fountain beside his door and bent over to take a drink, not hearing her loud call.

        "Mr. Hawke!" She called again through Poppy's hysterical laughter. I quickly released her, thinking he'd heard her for sure, but he didn't and the bell rang.

        I smirked at Carmen as she turned back to me, watching Mr. Hawke straighten out of the corner of my eye.

        "Ha Ha."