just between us • {Spencer Reid x Reader}

1

Thursday, October 14

You found solace in the rain. On nights where your ability to sleep was consumed by an endless loop of anxiety, the melodic pattern of rain droplets cascading down your window never failed to put you at ease. So when the familiar tune of your peace surrounded the SUV and it didn't ease your restless leg, Spencer understood the severity of how this case broke you. It left him feeling broken, too.

The case was one of serial child abductions and murders in New Orleans. Innocent children were being abducted every Friday, and would be found the following Wednesday. This cycle continued for three weeks, and every time you failed to save a child, it felt like you personally took a parents' baby away from them. It was an irrational thought, but it's one that couldn't leave the front of your conscience no matter how much you repeated the mantra "it wasn't your fault". You eventually caught the unsub, but not before he could emotionally scar that last child for the rest of her life. The look on her face was haunting you. The screams you heard from those children's parents were haunting you. As you tried to focus on the rain pattern, instead of hearing the gentle thumps of water on glass, you heard screams.

Desperate for a distraction, you remembered your earbuds at the bottom of your bag and pulled them out. With the volume loud enough on your playlist of classical music, you hoped you could escape the echoes of your mistakes. Your eyes closed in concentration, and your head fell straight back onto the head rest. It wasn't comfortable, you would have much preferred to lean sideways on the window, but alas, resting your ear on that certainly would not help drown out the noise.

As if he could sense the tension in your body and the hesitation of how to settle yourself, the kind genius next to you shuffled. He took off his cardigan and draped it over your shoulders, using the right arm to pull you closer to him until your head was resting on the crook of his shoulder and neck. His arm draped around your waist, fingers trembling. Only then did you open your eyes and turn to face him, where his eyes were already reading your body language. You noticed his eyes were more sunken than usual, and you'd swear there was a foreign tear threatening to spill out of one. You put two and two together and realized he was hurting just as much as you were and you felt like an awful friend. Who were you to sit and sulk, basically begging for him to comfort you, when he needed it too? Spencer saw the guilt flash through your face and he just shook his head at you, softly smiled, and turned and leaned his head on top of yours. You followed in suit, ignoring the questioning looks of the others in the car. Rossi was in the passenger seat, who nudged Hotch driving to take a look in the mirror; the two had never seen you and Spence be so physically affectionate to each other. There had been hugs and brief holding of hands when the terrain called for it, but this looked more personal. Intimate. But in Hotch's mind, if that's what his team needed, so be it. The glance exchanged between him, Rossi, and Derek in the back with the two of you, confirmed everybody was on the same page. Derek and Rossi wouldn't tease, Hotch wouldn't reprimand, you were to be left alone. You needed it.

Once back at the BAU, Hotch told everybody to go home, "paperwork could wait until monday." You felt a collective weight lifted off of the team's shoulders, and everyone at once began to pack up their things. Once your belongings were together, you strolled over to Spencer's desk. He greeted you with a tired smile, eyes threatening to close.

"Can we do a movie night? I don't want to be alone tonight." Your voice was barely above a whisper, but Spencer heard you and nodded.

"Of course." He replied with a tenderness in his voice that made your heart ache. The smile that broke across your face was bigger than anticipated, given the past few weeks. "Are we going to your apartment?"

"If that's okay."

He nodded again and threw his bag over his shoulder. The two of you walked to your car without words, but it wasn't awkward, it was comfortable. You both knew how to treat each other in times like this. The drive to the apartment was around ten minutes, and you and Spencer listened to your favorite playlist of classical music on the way. You were focused on the road, but couldn't help but feel his eyes burning into you while Claire de Lune graced out of your speakers. You couldn't bring yourself to look back at him, no matter how tempted you were.