Love, Jean

Chapter Two

(A/N this chapter is kinda sucky OooOpS sry I wish I'd spent more time on it bc important shit but anyWaysSs posting two in one day to get this bitch fuckin started uvu)
I struggled the whole day through math class, cafeteria food (which Sasha somehow seemed to enjoy), art class, history, basically everything. Actually, I did like writing class, but not that I ever acknowledged that. Being a poetry nerd doesn't really buy you popularity points.
I closed my locker with a sigh. At least the first day was over. Only 179 days left.
When I spun around, Marco was there. His finger was outstretched like he had just been about to tap me on the shoulder. He stepped backward a bit. His eyebrows were furrowed.
"Hm? Oh, hi, Marco."
"Jean. H-hey. Do, uh, you have some time to uh, I....uh, I need to tell you something." He stumbled on his own words. "I mean, never mind. You, uh, probably don--"
"Whoa, whoa, slow down," I chuckled. "I have time. What do you need to tell me? I'm listening."
He shifted uncomfortably. "Can we go somewhere where there's no people? It-it's kind of...private."
I remember how confused I was. It was the first day of school, what could've been so bad that had happened? Had anything bad happened? I was concerned with Marco's behavior. Yeah, he was usually pretty awkward, but not like this. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was up. Shocked, I nodded. "Okay."

We wandered around for a bit until we found a place outside where nearly no people seemed to be gathered, and where the few people that were there could be out of earshot.
"So?"
Marco bit his lip. "What I'm about to tell you...you need to keep a secret, just for now, okay? I'm going to tell everyone, including our friends, soon. I just...wanted to tell you first."
I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. "I promise I won't tell a soul. Your secret's safe with me."
He stayed silent for a few more moments. He seemed to be carefully choosing his words, running them over through his head. He mumbled something, but it seemed to be kind of unconscious, like he wasn't really saying it purposely, like he had thought it and it had accidentally slipped out of his mouth.
"I'm gay."
"What?"
He looked panicked. "Did I say that out loud?"
"I'm not quite sure I got that. You're....you're..."
He hesitated another moment then slowly shook his head. "This was a stupid idea..." He mumbled to himself. He stood up. "I-I'm sorry Jean. Never mind. You uh, you don't have to accept it but I-" He seemed to be slightly tearing up but he turned his head so I couldn't see.
Panicked, I stood up.
"No, no! Marco! I was just trying to process....I'm perfectly fine with it, I-I promise! You're...you're my best friend. I wouldn't stop hanging out with you over a stupid thing like that...I mean, not that it's stupid but it..." I cut myself off. I had always been very bad at trying to comfort people, but it seemed to settle Marco down a bit. He knew how I was, and I think he knew what I was trying to say. His shoulders relaxed a bit and he sat down next to me again. A thick tear fell down his face.
"Hey, Freckles, don't cry," I frowned a bit. Awkwardly, I reached out a finger to quickly swipe the tear off of his cheek. "I promise. I'm completely fine with it." I gave him a small smile. I meant every word. What would I have against gay people? Why would anyone have anything against a gay person?
Marco smiled back at me. "I'm sorry. I was just scared you...you wouldn't like it."
I didn't respond for a second. "Can I ask you a weird question?"
"Go for it."
"What made you...realize you were gay?" I looked down at my fingers and shifted them around a bit, awaiting his answer.
"I guess just...I guess that a...person did. I guess I had kinda known for a while that I was, since middle school maybe, although I refused to see it. I tried to feel interested in girls but it just never....felt right. I knew something was weird with me, but I just ignored it. And when I finally, actually realized it for the first time...it was when I saw this one person that just....made me feel a way I had never felt before. And it kind of clicked. I don't know. Does that make sense?"
I nodded slowly at his words, gears turning in my head. "Yeah. Yeah, I get it. And may I ask who this person...was?" I was curious.
He smiled and shook his head slowly. "It's not important. But, uh, thank you, Jean...for understanding."
I wanted to ask him more but he grabbed his backpack, slung it over his shoulder, and walked off.
But I think I understood then, even if I hadn't wanted to feel it, it was there, and it had been all along. There was no denying it now.