A 1000 Times (dreamxreader)

chapter eighteen

It's been five years since my dad died. The worst day of my life was when the hospital called and told me that he had passed away. My brain couldn't comprehend that the only person who made me feel the most me was no longer here.

The window let in streaks of light that showed the sun setting in the west. My phone sat dead on the side table and my mind begged me to plus it in and call George but my body refused to move. Five years and his death still has the same affect on me.

My chest had felt tight all day and breaths became inconsistent. Some deep some shallow.

The knock at the door startled me. "Y/n? Can I come in?"

It was quiet for a second before I answered, "Yeah." They were the first words to leave my mouth all day. My voice cracked.

Clay walked in holding a bowl of ice cream and some water. "Hi." He smiled at me but there was sadness and worry hidden in it.

"Hi." I could feel my eyes start to brim with tears already.

He sat the bowl and cup down on the small side table and got into the bed with me. He stayed on top of the covers and laid down. I was sat up against the head board and looking in front of me.

I shifted in the bed and laid down too. We were at the same level and I turned on my side to look at him. He did the same.

"You know when I was a little girl and I was sick my dad would do the same thing. Always chocolate ice creams Always water with lemon." I could feel my eyes pool even more.

"I know. George gave me a call and told me." He paused. "He didn't say much but it sounds like he was pretty important to you guys."

"He was the bests Even when he wasn't he made up for it. He was so great." Our eyes didn't flutter from each other's. "Sometimes though I wonder if I was enough for him." The tears finally started to spill silently. "Not in the cliche way like in academics or sports, but if I'm the person he wants me to be. Like if I'm kind enough or caring enough or if I treat others and deal with things the way he would've wanted me too." Drops rolled off my cheeks and nose onto the pillows creating little pools of water.

I felt Clay's arm wrap around me and pull me into him. He ran his hands through my hair and whispered sweet nothings into my ear while my sobs echoed throughout the room.

"You are. I know you are. I can see it down your very soul." He kissed my forehead and continued to stay with me. And stay with me. And stay with me. The crying fluttered away and the moths that infected my stomach did too.

"I've got you hun. I see you. You are valid and loved and cared for." His words filtered through my ear and sat in mind repeating as I drifted off to sleep. With him embracing me and the rising of his chest against mine I felt like myself.

A/N: Short chapter but next we travel. Any guesses? Super cool and hip and romantic...

Also this was such a hard chapter to write it took me forever to get more than a sentence down so sorry that it's so short. Next will hopefully be super long.

Another thing haha, they haven't actually kissed yet; realized that the other day. hmmm should I do it?