due to mature theme, parental discretion advised

Thursday, October 30th

When I told my best friend about what I'm pannig this Halloween, she looked at me and laughed in my face.

I mean, I would too if she had told me that she wanted to go all Michael Myers on everybody she comes across here in town.

But I was being serious.

Dead serious.

She just laughed it off in that really cute way of hers and continues talking about Jessie from physics class.

God.

I hate Jessie.

Captain of the fucking football team, of course.

Jessie fucking Calmers.

He's gonna be the last one tomorrow.

It's lunch time now, and Irene is still going on about the football game last weekend and how awesome the next one's gonna be. She's never even liked football. I try to pretend that I care, but that's proving to be the hardest thing in the world right now.

I'm just tuning her out and thinking about tomorrow instead at this point.

We got lucky with Halloween this year, landing on a Friday, and being the release date of some shitty horror movie. I don't know what it is. Couldn't care less to be honest. I only watch indie/old horror movies. The newer ones are just really fucking stupid.

Anyway, back to my plans.

I've already amassed a whole collection of weapons to use.

"Cirrus?"

I know who's going to be where, everybody does the same route every year...

"Cirrus!"

The only issue is police, but they can be avoided easily.

"Oh my god, Cirrus! Are you listening to me?!"

She grabbed my arm.

How dare.

"Yeah, sorry, I just zoned out. What else about this oh so magnificent Jessie Calmers?" Oh, she's glaring at me now, I don't even need to be looking at her to tell, "well, there's no need to be such an asshole about it... Did I do something to make you mad? You haven't said a word all morning--" I roll my eyes, cutting her off by abruptly standing. Of course she doesn't realize, that would be too easy wouldn't it? Here glare deepens and I just heave a heavy sigh, picking up my half eaten tray of dogfood that the school calls lunch.

"It doesn't matter, don't worry about it. I'm gonna go throw my food away." She calls after me, but I pretend like I didn't hear her. I just walk to the trash cans, dump my food, put the tray away, and leave the cafeteria entirely.

_____

The rest of the day has no other importance.

I just avoid Irene as much as possible.

Which is fine because she was all over Jessie anyway.

Fucking Jessie.

Whatever.

Nobody else really sees me or knows I exist anyway, so why should she? Why should my best friend who I've known since I was ten care about me? I mean, she's got everything: loving parents, nice siblings the biggest house on Adler street, her own car, good looks, popularity, etc. The fact that she still hands out with me is incredible. But recently over the past few years, we've started growing apart.

Farther and farther every year.

Where we used to love climbing trees,  it's just her turning me down on my thoughts to go camping and opting to go to a concert instead. Where we used to promise that we didn't need boys since we had each other, now that slot is occupied with her just simping over guys and me wishing I had stayed home. I get it, interests change over time, but I never thought that she would turn into the kind of person I despise while I would just get more boring over time. So I pulled away. I pulled away in hopes that maybe she would follow. That she would realize that I-- I want my best friend back. I want her to look at me again. I want her to see me, to see how I feel. About her. About everything.

I want--

I want...

Fuck.

I hate it.

I hate him.

I hate her.

I hate it all.

I hate it just enough to start something I can't stop.

Just enough...

For me to risk everything. 

Even if it haunts me forever.

(Authors note

Hope you guys enjoy this short story about trauma and murder. This is just the first chapter so get buckled in and enjoy the ride.)