Do you remember? | BILLIE EILISH

Thirteen.

Billie's pov.

-A few weeks later-

"She doesn't understand, Bil, she never will!" Jess said into my shoulder.

"I know Jess. Don't cry," I beg her as she gulps for air and shudders into my arms. I rub her back and pull the hair that was sticking to her cheeks away.

"I just don't want to feel like this anymore," she cried.

"I know. Please just breathe, it fucking kills me to see you like this," I said hugging her body tighter. She sniffed and cried continuously.

All of it started with her mom.

She told her mom everything going on in her life and things that were on her mind, and she said it was just made up. She wasn't old enough to go through shit. There's not an age where you just feel stuff. When you're little, you get sad, when you're a teen, you're gonna get sad, when you're old, you're. Gonna. Get. Sad. Jess talked to me, and my mom, and anyone else she possibly could, only because her mom wouldn't listen.

"I feel so stuck, I don't get happy with anything anymore. I feel so bad, and I don't know how to stop feeling like this."

"Shhh, just breathe," I said. Minutes passed and eventually, she was breathing regularly. She would sniff every now and then.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Billie," She spoke hopelessly.

"I know, I know. I am so sorry she's like that, Jess. Her eyes filled with more tears.

"Hey, hey, c'mon, it's gonna be okay." I laid my hand on her back and looked at her. She broke under my hand. My heart shattered at the sight of her.

"She fucking hates me, I'm her CHILD and she hates me!"

"Jess, she loves you, I know she's a bad mother and doesn't help you, but she's your mother." She scoffed and moved away from my hand.

"Are you kidding me? Wow Billie, how the hell could you say that?" Her eyes shot through me, piercing my soul. The bitterness filled the room with every breath we took.

"You have a great relationship with your mother so you have absolutely NO right to tell me anything about mine. I fucking hate her." Jess shouted.

"Jess, you don't mean that," Jess stood up and walked herself out of my room. I didn't know where she was going but I knew I needed to give her a little space. She didn't want to see me at that point because I hit too hard on a touchy subject, and that was okay. I heard my front door slam, causing me to flinch.

Fuck. 

(Oooooh dramaaaaaa ;))