||𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮|| ~ Young Royals

Chapter one || surviving in a world of grey ||

The hardwood tiles were cold against his legs, which had been frozen in the same position for hours.
His ears had taken in nothing but the continuous sound of ticking, originating from the clock positioned on a shelf on his dark blue painted wall.
Everything was quiet except for his thoughts. His thoughts were running absolutely wild. Like a wave crashing against the shore violently and repeating that pattern forever, during the day and during the night. No breather.

Although Wilhelm tried, and he tried so hard, nothing worked. Only one thing guarded his thoughts, never leaving them behind, unable to get any rest.

Simon

It was quite the infusion of everything together. That one word could cause so much delight and bliss, when remembering all those amazing moments spend together, but it could also devour him in melancholy and mourning in just one faithful second.

Wilhelm still hadn't figured it out. All he really knew was that he loved Simon so much.
he loved the way his mouth would curl up sideways in a loving, infectious smile, causing him to send Wilhelm to the seventh heaven or how their hands would always find each other somehow and entangle themselves, radiating the feeling of their warmth and familiarity. But he couldn't help but feel incredibly guilty and ashamed of what he had done to the beautiful boy.

The beautiful boy who had once gave him the feeling of owning the world more than his position as prince had ever gotten close to.
He had tried, but he was too weak and he gave up on Simon, he gave up on them.

His mom was just too scary, too right all the time, too close for him to go through with his original planning. Although Simon had given him so much trust and power, it hadn't been enough, because he couldn't seem to do it. He had found no words and his voice was mute. And now all was too late. Wilhelm hurt him deeply and he knew that. It had been the only thing on his mind for what seemed like months. Filling up his entire headspace and leaving no room for other incoming thoughts.

His head was facing the ceiling, supported by the long, wallpapered walls, inclosing his room in a space for him only. For Wilhelm's mind to wander and comprehend.
His eyes were closed shut, accompanied by his eyebrows which were knitted together. A wrinkle present on his forehead.

Wilhelm's hair was planted messily around his face, his exhausted figure still dressed in pajamas. His hands were fiddling with the cord of his grey sweater in an attempt to distract his mind as time seemed to pass like the wind.

Wilhelm was in complete despair. He knew just like everybody else would logically conclude that leaving Simon alone would be for the better. He didn't want the hurt him even more, as he was sure some part of his heart had been permanently damaged. And as Simon hadn't reached out to him in any way, Wilhelm knew that was what he needed.

His heart ached a little more each time he thought about what he had done to them. Wilhelm will never forget the look on Simon's face that faithful day.
It was a weave of disappointment, slight infuriation, but mostly just a doleful heartsore. The moment Wilhelm saw that face he knew that something in Simon had broken, which would take a long, if not eternal time to repair.

However, he didn't have much time to dwell on previous events, because soon the doors of the place he now dreaded more than his home, would reopen again leaving nothing but suspense and uncertainty to remain in Wilhelm's mind.

He was sure he would see Simon again and Wilhelm was everything but prepared. He knew, whatever would have happened to him, whatever would have changed, not much good could come out of this.

A sudden knock on the door dragged Wilhelm out of his track of thoughts and caused him to stumble upwards and open his door. In the opening stood a bodyguard and even though Wilhelm had previously tried to remember her name out of politeness, he had failed, again.
He quickly cleared his throat and waited on whatever news would soon reveal itself.

" I just wanted to let his Royal Highness know that you will be transported by car at 7 am Monday morning to start your first day of school " the woman spoke.

" oh, well thank you ... " Wilhelm trailed off, revealing he did not know her name.

" Linnéa " the woman added to his unfinished sentence with a kindhearted smile.

" Thank you Linnéa " He repeated, flashing her a smile, being appreciative of her kindness.

As soon as she came, the bodyguard had left again and Wilhelm was left to himself. He decided to get dressed and pick out an appropriate outfit at the same time for Monday so he wouldn't have to worry about that then, since his head would already be submerged in other overwhelming thoughts.

He left his room for one of the first times in days and walked into a hall. He swiftly turned left and strode out of the castle doors. There, Wilhelm entered the Royal garden, which no one except him and the gardeners would ever visit.

He lowered himself onto the still damp grass with his hands and looked up into the sky. It wasn't shining as brightly as it was when he arrived here at the beginning of Christmas break.

Sitting, surrounded by silence again Wilhelm's mind was recharging for another episode of overanalyzing everything that he had once said and all the "what if" 's that could have possibly changed the outcome of the mess he and Simon were now.

Erik would have probably come up with this amazing resolution and tell him about how he could make things better, but he couldn't because he wasn't there anymore.

Wilhelm caught himself staring at Erik's door in the hallway from time to time, hoping that he would just walk out there, mess up Wilhelm's hair, and joke with him like he always would do. That everything had just been one big, bad dream. But that was not life, that was not reality. His brother was truly gone forever and no one could change the outcome of that.

Time went on as the sun went down and clouds started to fill the once bright sky. Wilhelm decided it would be for the better if he walked back inside, took a shower, and tried to semi prepare himself for Monday instead of staying in the same position, waiting for his body to go numb, although the second option was tempting, considering his state of mind.

In the shower, Wilhelm turned on the showerhead and let the stream of water fall onto his face freely. The warmth of the water quickly fogged up the bathroom mirrors and still all Wilhelm could do was stay in the chaos he had created himself. He was trapped in the now dark world he would refer to as his mind. Blue thoughts formed once again and at some point, Wilhelm couldn't differentiate the water crashing down from above, from the tears descending from his cheeks.

The world had no meaning anymore, all had become colourless, utterly grey, and dull.
Wilhelm didn't know if he would survive feeling nothing and thinking about everything at the same time.
All he could do was wait and eventually, find out.

*

A/n Hello everyone! Wow it has been quite some time since I wrote something, but I'm not going to lie, it was amazing! Please don't be scared to point out any errors I made and give criticism and feedback, I appreciate that very much ! Also please don't forget to
VOTE and COMMENT since this is often the source of my motivation and is a way to get other people to notice my book and read it! Have a great day/night everyone <33